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Stranger Things Season 3 Has a New Teaser, and You Know What That Means: Episode Titles!

Millie Bobbie Brown in Stranger Things, wearing a complicated contraption on her head and crushing a Coke can with her mind.
Focus on the episode titles and try to picture the episodes.
Netflix

If you like listening to vintage synthesizers, watching gigantic letters slowly come into view, or learning the titles of television episodes you won’t get to watch for months, this Stranger Things Season 3 teaser is everywhere you want to be:

Judging from the trailer, Netflix has a lot of episodes (8) in store for us when Stranger Things returns. Specifically, these ones:

• Suzie, Do You Copy?
• The Mall Rats
• The Case of the Missing Lifeguard
• The Sauna Test
• The Source
• The Birthday
• The Bite
• The Battle of Starcourt

Unfortunately, that last episode title is probably a reference to Starcourt Mall rather than some kind of legal procedural set in Star Court. The mall, and its vintage 1980s corporate logos, featured prominently in a much-less-disappointing Netflix promo from over the summer:

Rabid Stranger Things fans, rabid Stranger Things dilettantes, and rabid Stranger Things newbies alike have a lot to look forward to, assuming they develop a cure for rabies before Stranger Things returns sometime in 2019.