Brow Beat

Stephen Colbert Knows What to Do With the $120 Million Les Moonves Isn’t Getting

What job could a disgraced billionaire with sexual assault allegations possibly get? Stephen Colbert has an idea.

Following the news that former CBS Chairman Les Moonves would not receive his $120 million severance from the media company, the Late Show host addressed the network’s decision and reminded the audience that billionaires with similar allegations have seemed to land on their feet.

In his New Yorker exposé earlier this year, Ronan Farrow revealed several allegations of sexual assault against Moonves, who worked at CBS for 23 years. The CBS Board of Directors has determined that it will not pay Moonves the large severance because of “his willful failure to cooperate fully with the Company’s investigation.”

“Every show he’s greenlit for the last 20 years was about investigations,” Colbert joked. “On the bright side, CBS has enough material for a new program: NCIS: Human Resources.”

With $120 million now fair game, Colbert revealed his ideas about who the money should go to, hilariously suggesting, “I get half of it, the other half goes to Tom Selleck’s mustache.” While we’re not sure how valuable Blue Bloods has been for the network, I think we can all agree a donation to the “Tom Selleck Mustache Upkeep Fund” is in the best interest of viewers everywhere.

Citing the New York Times, Colbert also revealed that Moonves’ staggering earnings “totaled more than $1 billion” over the past 10 years, leading the host to make an apt comparison between Moonves and President Donald Trump, saying, “What job could a famous TV billionaire with sexual assault allegations possibly get—oh, my god!”

Just this week, Cybil Shepard came forward with her own allegations against Moonves, alleging that her CBS sitcom, Cybill, was canceled soon after the actress turned down Moonves’ advances, ending after only three seasons. In her account of experiencing alleged sexual harassment on the set of the CBS show Bull, Elizu Dushku says that the show’s star, Michael Weatherly, used his “special friendship” with Moonves “as an amulet and, as I can see now, as a threat.”

Even with the mounting list of allegations, Colbert ended by admitting he thought Moonves would “still be better” than the current Commander in Chief.