Brow Beat

Seth Meyers Thinks President Trump Will Have a Hard Time Hiding From the Feds

A Unabomber-style cabin in the woods, except for a giant gold TRUMP sign.
The first fugitive captured entirely because the spotlights on his cabin were interfering with airplanes and satellites.

Seth Meyers took a closer look at the walls closing in on Donald Trump on Wednesday, poking at the gap between Trump’s frequent assertions that we are “a nation of laws” when it’s time to punish brown people and the somewhat different approach he prefers when, say, it becomes apparent that he has been running a crime syndicate at least since his dad stole nearly half a billion dollars from the American people. But as former Trump fixer Michael Cohen gets three years in prison today for a little light fixing—and offers testimony implicating Trump in the same crimes—the president must be coming to the realization that sometimes, if we can’t possibly avoid it and the rich white guy is fucking up the entire planet, we are a nation of laws for rich white people too. Trump is not known for sticking around to face consequences, but as Meyers points out, life on the lam is going to be a real problem for a guy who insists on plastering his name on everything he owns in giant gold letters:

Trump is not the first world leader to have to abandon his garish tastes in the hopes of avoiding consequences for his actions—Saddam Hussein traded his gold palaces for more modest housing, Jefferson Davis rethought his whole wardrobe—but he might be the dumbest, which suggests one way forward. After all the pain Trump has caused over the last seven decades or so, the very least he owes the world is a hilariously incompetent Robert-Durst-style flight across our great nation, with plenty of unconvincing disguises. It’s the only way the nation can heal.