Brow Beat

Stephen Colbert Books the Coveted Exit Interview With Jeff Sessions

A Keebler E.L. Fudge cookie that resembles Jeff Sessions.
The Attorney General.
CBS

In a stunning blow to Seth Meyers, Trevor Noah, Jimmy Kimmel, and the rest of the late night crew, Stephen Colbert managed to book the most coveted interview of the week: A far-reaching conversation with recently-fired Attorney General Jeff Sessions, full of inside scoops, hot gossip, and a delicious fudge crème filling made from 100% real cocoa. Sessions was gracious about his time working for President Trump and, at least at first, seemed optimistic about his future, which made the interview’s conclusion all the more shocking and horrifying:

Now that’s good TV! It’s a testament to Colbert’s years of experience in the television game that he and his bookers are able to get guests like Sessions on such short notice, but it seems slightly irresponsible to give a man who’s had the day Jeff Sessions had on Wednesday the opportunity to end it all on national television. We should all strive to remember Jeff Sessions the way he was when we first met him—before Trump, before Reagan—when he lived in a hollow tree and made everyone cookies:

We’re gonna miss you, little buddy.