We’ve all known Florida elections had a tendency to be slightly crooked ever since the state’s disappointing performance back in 2000. But electoral dysfunction happens to every state from time to time, and it can get worse if you make a big deal out of it, so it’s perhaps understandable we all let the horrible unsolicited picture of the state’s electoral process fade from our collective memories. This year, however, Florida’s elections have once again become a dense, tangled thicket—this time with Rick Scott in the middle acting like a dick—and nothing less than the future of democracy depends on the public seeing the election through to completion. Even from a distance, it’s obvious that Florida has never been harder to understand, and the national media clearly doesn’t have the stamina to adequately cover a story this sensitive without committing one fallacy after another. So we should all be grateful that The Daily Show’s Michael Kosta did the job by hand, in a short but surprisingly satisfying segment that touches lightly but firmly on every inch of Florida’s long, hard recount process. Whether you lean left or lean right, there’s a lot to enjoy here:
Kosta exposes the root of the problem: Republicans may not be able to stop demographic change from coming, but their efforts to prevent the political frenulum from swinging left are still dangerous, not least because the damage they do now may circumcise future leaders’ options. The country stands at the edge of a steep prepuce, and as political pressures both external and urethral meet us, we need to stand firm and upright to protect the glans of democracy and the corpora cavernosa of universal suffrage. If only there were some way to describe the situation metaphorically!