It feels like a lifetime has passed since the shape of Donald Trump’s penis was headline news, but somehow it has only been two weeks since the Guardian published a leaked excerpt from Stormy Daniels’ memoir that fatefully compared the president’s phallus to a character from Mario Kart. The book, Full Disclosure, has since been published, and it’s not all about Trump, also delving into Daniels’ childhood and career as a porn star and director. Still, Jimmy Kimmel did not even pretend to care about any of that during Daniels’ appearance on his show, instead asking for details about sex with Trump and letting Daniels spank him with a copy of her book.
Throughout the interview, Kimmel’s other guest, Sarah Paulson, reacts with excitement and horror, audibly crying out “Oh no!” That’s saying something, given that Paulson stars on a show where people are regularly killed and tortured in gruesome ways. But the climax (sorry) of the whole interview is, of course, the conversation about Trump’s penis. “Do you know how much hate mail I’ve gotten from people who love Mario Kart?” Daniels asked. “In one day I managed to ruin half of America’s childhood and mushroom farming everywhere.” And she’s about to do it again—Kimmel asked her to pick Trump’s penis out of a lineup of orange models. At least it’ll provide good fodder for your Toad erotica.