Sports

Nathan Peterman Elevates Bad Quarterback Play to an Art Form; Please Give Him His Own Wing in the Louvre

HOUSTON, TX - OCTOBER 14:  Johnathan Joseph #24 of the Houston Texans scores on an intereption as Nathan Peterman #2 of the Buffalo Bills is late on the coverage at NRG Stadium on October 14, 2018 in Houston, Texas.  (Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images)
Nathan Peterman admires his pick-six.
Bob Levey/Getty Images

Nathan Peterman has a gift. The Buffalo Bills’ backup quarterback doesn’t grace the field that often, but he never fails to produce moments of transcendent humor and tragedy when he does. The maestro was forced into action against the Houston Texans on Sunday after starter Josh Allen suffered an elbow injury in the third quarter, and Peterman did not disappoint. The NFL’s greatest performance artist rose to the occasion and left his captivated audience spellbound yet again.

Peterman is known for his interceptions. They are the white tigers to his Siegfried and Roy. He famously threw five picks in one half last year after inexplicably being named Buffalo’s starter mid-season, and this historic achievement put him on the map. Of the 67 career passes he’d thrown heading into this weekend, 7 were caught by opposing defenders. It was a bit of a shock, then, that one of Peterman’s first actions upon stepping onto the field on Sunday was to throw a pretty-looking touchdown pass to his own teammate.

This was what Peterman’s fellow illusionists and mindfreaks call a “misdirection.” He was saving the real fireworks for late in the fourth quarter, right after Houston tied the game with a field goal. With just 1:30 remaining, Peterman dropped back and hit the Texans’ Johnathan Joseph right in the numbers for a go-behind pick-six.

It was classic Peterman. Who else can destroy his team’s chances while simultaneously bolstering Colin Kaepernick’s collusion case against NFL team owners? Peterman wasn’t finished, and he tossed one more interception during the ensuing Bills’ drive to cement his status as the league’s foremost disaster artist.

Don’t feel bad for Nathan Peterman. Magicians like this don’t last long in the NFL, and his staying power only adds to the mystique.