College Football Is More Fun Now That It’s Played With a Greased-Up Ham

Vanderbilt jumped to an early lead against Florida on Saturday, and they did so thanks to turnovers. The Commodores grabbed an interception and forced a fumble in the first half, and the latter appears to be the result of a new SEC rule that requires all game balls to be replaced with glistening Christmas hams. Just look at the rainbow sheen on that bad boy as it slips out of Gator quarterback Feleipe Franks’ grasp and squirts through the hands of multiple Vanderbilt defenders before finally coming to a rest near the sideline.

Thanks to delicious natural fats and the heavy basting it received before kickoff, this game ham was extra greasy. After misjudging the hunk of savory ham for much of the first half, Florida fell to a 21-3 deficit against their unranked opponents. The Gators mounted a mini comeback and headed to the locker room down 21-13, but its offense must learn to appreciate the ham’s mouthwatering aerodynamics in order to earn a result on the road.

Vanderbilt fans will be praying that the ham doesn’t dry out during half time.