Ever since the dark day that consciousness evolved to the point that one of our primitive ancestors was able to puzzle out his or her own mortality, our entire species has been plagued by fear, doubt, dread, and bad times all around. The fruitless search for something, anything to give meaning to the absurd and outright hostile void that surrounds us has given us coping tools and minor consolations—art, science, funnel cakes—but at best, we’ve been treating symptoms while the disease rages on. That ends today.
Or at least, it ends today for people whose existential dread was primarily caused by the absence of an Instagram video in which Britney Spears does backflips over a snippet of her ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake’s song “LoveStoned / I Think She Knows.” If you’re one of those people, pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and click, click, click:
What will you do now that you’ve gone clear?