San Diego Padres Give Fans Free Beach Hats; Oh No, There Were Beetles in the Beach Hats

SAN DIEGO, CA - SEPTEMBER 1:  A fan wears a give away hat in the stands before a baseball game between the San Diego Padres and the Colorado Rockies at PETCO Park on September 1, 2018 in San Diego, California. A problem was found with the hats and they were recalled in the third inning.  (Photo by Denis Poroy/Getty Images)
Beach hat night had a few bugs. Denis Poroy/Getty Images

Pity the Padres fan. San Diego hasn’t made the playoffs since 2006 and, with roughly a month left in the regular season, the team sits 21 games back in the NL West. Still, people show up at Petco Park in September even though San Diego has free, Padres-less beaches they could visit instead. To reward these faithful supporters, the organization gave away free beach hats during Saturday night’s game against the Colorado Rockies. Everyone loves free stuff, but these hats had to be recalled due to the presence of bugs. Grain beetles, to be precise.

According to a press release from the Padres’ Twitter account, “it was discovered that some packaging contained what independent experts believe to be grain beetles.” Kudos to the Padres for consulting independent experts. If this had happened at Fenway Park, you just know the beetle guy would’ve been biased as hell.

Earlier in the game, before the team released the above statement, the Padres tweeted a terse update regarding “an issue” with the hats. The beetles weren’t mentioned. Some attendees at Petco Park said on Twitter that they weren’t given a reason as to why the beach hats were being recalled. Eventually, they learned it was because of bugs (though the beetles “pose no health risks to humans”).

If you scroll down the Padres Twitter account and start from the beginning of Saturday’s game, beach hat night plays out like a well-crafted horror movie.

Dear God, the beach hats have invaded the booth. Lock the broadcast crew in and seal the doors before it’s too late!

What is catcher Austin Hedges doing? He has no idea! Take off the hat, damn it! The beetles …they’re everywhere!

While suspenseful, this creepy-crawly tale had a disappointingly predictable ending.