Patrick Mahomes Has Arrived So Everyone Else Can Stop Playing Football Now

PITTSBURGH, PA - SEPTEMBER 16: Patrick Mahomes #15 of the Kansas City Chiefs walks off the field at the conclusion of a 42-37 win over the Pittsburgh Steelers at Heinz Field on September 16, 2018 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Justin Berl/Getty Images)
A rare photo of Patrick Mahomes not throwing a touchdown.
Justin Berl/Getty Images

The Kansas City Chiefs are on to something. They’ve won their first two games of the season, both of which were on the road, and their quarterback appears to be an advanced species of alien sent to Earth to throw touchdowns. On Sunday, Patrick Mahomes threw for 326 yards, 6 touchdowns, and no interceptions, leading the Chiefs to a 42-37 win over the Pittsburgh Steelers. It was his second start this season and only the third start of his young career. So far, he looks nigh unstoppable. If you play for one of the 28 NFL teams Mahomes has yet to start against, there is still time to retire before it’s too late. (Vontae Davis had the right idea.)

The Chiefs picked Mahomes in the first round of the 2017 NFL Draft, but they mothballed the rookie for a full season before trading starter Alex Smith in January. Since that move, the 22-year-old Mahomes has been tasked with leading the Kansas City offense, and he’s been pretty much perfect. In Week One, he threw for 256 yards, four touchdowns, and no interceptions in the Chiefs’ 38-28 victory over the Los Angeles Chargers. Combine those numbers with his gaudy stats against the Steelers, and Mahomes is off to a historically great start. No quarterback has ever thrown more touchdowns to open a season (10) than he.

What makes Mahomes so special? Judging by the game tape, the young quarterback can throw the ball 9 miles through the air. He also has the ability to fit passes through literal keyholes, meaning that Mahomes will still be able to throw touchdowns against teams if they close their stadiums and lock the doors.

Is it too early to say that Mahomes is the greatest player in NFL history? Would I be cursing him if I did? These are foolish inquiries. There is only one question of any real import: how long will it take Mahomes to surpass Tom Brady’s five Super Bowl wins? I give him until Week Eight.

Mahomes went 23-for-28 against the Steelers, meaning he threw more touchdowns than incompletions. I’d love to post clips of those rare misses (just to provide proof, if anything), but the highlights are sadly not available online. Instead, here is touchdown one and touchdown six from Sunday—a set of Mahomes bookends, if you will.

Be sure to watch those clips now, before Mahomes’ touchdowns become so common that Roger Goodell has to reduce their value in order to make the league fair again.