Brow Beat

Seth Meyers Can’t Keep Up With the Trump News, So He Just Sat at His Desk With His Mouth Open

If you thought you were having trouble following the latest Trump news, try being a late-night TV host. In an “A Closer Look” Thursday night, Seth Meyers lamented just how difficult it is to keep up with all the President’s shenanigans, from more Michael Cohen-Stormy Daniels news to the latest Rudy Giuliani nonsense. In fact, at the top of the segment, the Late Night host just sat there with his mouth open so a recording could fill in the newest Trump updates. “We had to make some educated guesses,” he admitted, after the recording reported that authorities were pursuing Trump in a white Ford Bronco.

It’s not like the actual news is any less insane, though. A whistle-blower recently uncovered more than 3 million dollars’ worth of Michael Cohen’s financial records that hadn’t been turned in to authorities, setting Meyers up for this easy quip: “Man, you know a story is crazy when it involves a Deep Throat and an actual porn star.”

“Whenever they eventually make a movie about all this,” the host went on, “It is gonna suck, because it will never be as crazy as the real thing … You’d have to cut the screen into nine blocks.”

Meyers then began the exhaustive task of covering just how many incriminating things Rudy Giuliani has said about Trump’s alleged Russian collusion on TV lately. The host even pointed to a report in which Trump apparently said he needed better “TV lawyers” to defend him from the 24-hour news cycle. That would actually be a wise move, since Giuliani went on Fox News on Wednesday and implied the Trump campaign received “dirt” on Hillary from the Russians. It’s okay, though, because, according to the lawyer, Trump “never used it.”

“For a guy who looks like he eats brains, he sure doesn’t have any,” Seth Meyers said of Giuliani, who he also called “Atticus Grinch.”

There’s even more Trump hilarity to break down, from reports that he eats his burgers with half a bun for his health to an account of Giuliani hitting a pedicab with his car door. It’s easy to see how Seth Meyers barely has time for all the nonsense. Still, he made a valiant effort.