This weekend Saturday Night Live took on the NRA’s plan to solve school shootings by throwing more guns at the problem, casting host Charles Barkley as Ned, the man behind Ned’s Roach Away. As the name implies, Ned’s Roach Away is a product that clears up roach infestations; as the initials imply, Ned’s Roach Away accomplishes this by unleashing a trained cockroach militia armed with adorable little AR-15s. If that sounds like a terrible idea to you, you just don’t understand the second amendment and probably go around referring to “magazines” as “clips.” Let Ned break down the relevant constitutional law before you embarrass yourself further:
Now some people might say, “But Ned, wouldn’t gun-carrying roaches just add to my problem?” That’s so dumb it makes me mad.
Case closed! But while Ned’s Roach Away is obviously a practical and humane solution for cockroach infestations—and a huge financial boon to the troubled “miniature semiautomatic rifles for insects” industry—it’s not clear what relevance it has outside of the insect kingdom. The idea that the solution to school shootings involves more guns somehow—well, to believe that, you’d have to have a brain the size of an insect’s.