Brow Beat

Stephen Colbert Made a Big Dumb Ad for Trump’s Big Dumb Military Parade

President Trump has done a lot of stupid shit since being elected, but for pure, unalloyed stupidity, it’s hard to imagine he’ll ever top his upcoming plan to hold a big military parade because he saw one when he was in France. He likes parades! He likes the military! He likes to feel like he’s projecting strength and confidence and has no idea how ridiculous and insecure he looks! But Stephen Colbert, like everyone else in the country, knows exactly how ridiculous and insecure Trump is, and Wednesday night he held up a mirror.

The ad is pretty good at pointing out how and why this “thrilling display of authoritarian power” is an imbecilic idea. It also has footage of Steven Segal dancing and a Photoshop of two marching band members straining to drag an entire nuclear submarine down the street, both of which are more than enough to justify its existence. But be forewarned: it’s probably a fairly accurate picture of the way Trump imagines the parade in his head, which means that watching it is like spending a minute in Trump’s head. Even with that high entry cost, however, the details of the parade are funny enough to be worth it. The problem, of course, is that when someone reaches Trumpian levels of stupidity, they’re immune to criticism and ridicule alike because they’re too dumb to understand it. A smarter president watching Colbert’s ad might have second thoughts about what they’re doing and why. But if Trump hears Colbert made an ad for the “Presidential Macy’s Trumps-Giving Day Military Parade,” the most likely outcome is that he steals the name.

Matthew Dessem

Matthew Dessem is Brow Beat’s nights and weekends editor and the author of a biography of screenwriter and director Clyde Bruckman.