Fantastic Beasts director David Yates revealed yesterday that Dumbledore, the only confirmed gay character in the Harry Potter universe, will not be “explicitly” gay in the next film in the franchise—even though it’s literally about him and his ex-boyfriend, Gellert Grindelwald. Dumbledore has been in the closet a long time, which got us wondering: How many “explicitly” straight characters are in Rowling’s books and its various theatrical and cinematic spinoffs?
There are some who would argue that Dumbledore’s sexuality didn’t need to be openly stated or demonstrated in the Harry Potter novels and movies because it wasn’t directly relevant to Harry, the protagonist’s, story. And yet we know the sexualities of plenty of other characters, even some of the extremely minor ones, and they’re pretty clearly heterosexual. We don’t even know two Hogwarts students, Stebbins and Fawcett, by their full names, for instance, but we do know that Stebbins is a guy, Fawcett is a girl, and that they made out at the Yule Ball.
For the purposes of this list, “straight” applies to any character who has demonstrated a clear interest in the opposite sex, usually by kissing, dating, marrying, or having a child with them. While people who aren’t straight can also have opposite-sex relationships, of course, none of these characters demonstrate any overt bisexual tendencies, so until J.K. Rowling retroactively announces that every character in the Harry Potter universe is actually bi, we’re going to assume they’re as straight as they seem.
And so, here is an incomplete list of straight characters in the Harry Potter universe:
1. Harry Potter
2. Hermione Granger
3. Ron Weasley
4. Ginny Weasley
5. Fred Weasley
6. George Weasley
7. Bill Weasley
8. Molly Weasley
9. Arthur Weasley
10. Draco Malfoy
11. Lucius Malfoy
12. Narcissa Malfoy
13. Rubeus Hagrid
14. Voldemort
15. Bellatrix Lestrange
16. Neville Longbottom
17. Frank Longbottom
18. Alice Longbottom
19. Remus Lupin
20. Nymphadora Tonks
21. James Potter
22. Lily Evans
23. Severus Snape
24. Luna Lovegood
25. Rolf Scamander
26. Astoria Greengrass
27. Seamus Finnegan
28. Angelina Johnson
29. Parvati Patil
30. Padma Patil
31. Lee Jordan
32. Fleur Delacour
33. Viktor Krum
34. Cedric Diggory
35. Cho Chang
36. Lavender Brown
37. Pansy Parkinson
38. Dean Thomas
39. Dudley Dursley
40. Vernon Dursley
41. Petunia Dursley
42. The Bloody Baron
43. Moaning Myrtle
44. Rowena Ravenclaw
45. Olympe Maxime
46. Xenophilius Lovegood
47. Pandora Lovegood
48. Cormac McLaggen
49. Newt Scamander
50. Tina Goldstein
51. Jacob Kowalski
52. Queenie Goldstein
53. Barty Crouch Sr.
54. Cornelius Fudge
55. Sybill Trelawney
56. Scorpius Malfoy
57. Roger Davies
58. Michael Corner
59. Polly Chapman
60. James Steward
61. Isolt Sayre
62. Percival Dumbledore
63. Kendra Dumbledore
64. Eileen Prince
65. Tobias Snape
66. Pollux Black
67. Irma Crabbe
68. Nigellus Black
69. Penelope Clearwater
70. Ursula Flint
71. Arcturus Black
72. Melania MacMillan
73. Lysandra Yaxley
74. Cygnus Black
75. Violetta Bulstrode
76. Hannah Abbott
77. Gubhilda Kneen
78. Goodwin Kneen
79. Mirabella Plunkett
80. Belvina Burke
81. Herbert Burke
82. Nicolas Flamel
83. Perenelle Flamel
84. Mary Cattermole
85. Reginald Cattermole
86. Merope Gaunt
87. Rodolphus Lestrange
88. Ambrosius Flume
89. Isla Black
90-134. The 45 Girls Who Sent Gilderoy Lockhart Love Letters
135. Bob Hitchens
136. Harfang Longbottom
137. Ignatius Prewett
138. Lucretia Prewett
139. Septimus Weasley
140. Cedrella Weasley
141. Callidora Black
142. Stebbins
143. Fawcett
144. Aragog, The Literal Giant Spider
145. Mosag, His Spider Wife
