Brow Beat

Now That Roy Moore Has Lost, Laugh Along With Jimmy Kimmel at His Dumb Spokespeople

There hasn’t been much opportunity to kick back and laugh at the mind-bogglingly stupid things Donald Trump and the Republican Party have been doing lately, at least not without feeling simultaneously demoralized by the fact that these boneheads are in power. Tonight was an exception. Doug Jones won his Alabama senate race, defeating Roy Moore, who was comically loathsome even before the allegations that he preyed on teens surfaced. Not electing a child molester isn’t a high bar for a nation to clear, but by God we cleared it.

Which means that we can all snicker at Moore’s clown car of a campaign without the sickening feeling that he’s going to get elected anyway! Jimmy Kimmel didn’t know that his jokes would be guilt-free when he taped his segment about Moore tonight, but he’d already made up his mind about the race, as he explained:

Anyway, I don’t know the results yet, the polls just closed. But I do know that Roy Moore—Roy Moore shouldn’t even be in the race. And I’m not talking about the Senate race, I mean the human race is what he should not be in.

We can’t do anything about Moore’s place in the human race, but it turns out he’s not going to Washington. So please enjoy Kimmel’s retrospective of the Moore campaign’s greatest hits: Kayla Moore confessing that “one of our attorneys is a Jew,” Roy Moore saying his wife had “closer contact with kids than I do,” Moore’s Vietnam buddy defending him by telling a story about their trip to a child brothel, and, most of all, Moore campaign spokesperson Ted Crockett rendered completely speechless by the news that you don’t have to use a Christian bible to be sworn into office. Wait a minute: Those aren’t the Moore campaign’s greatest hits. Everything Kimmel is talking about happened in the last day or so. Imagine the kind of stunts Moore would have pulled with a few years in the Senate! Now that he’s lost—even if he hasn’t conceded—Roy Moore and his supporters have moved from “genuine threat” to “guy stepping on a bunch of rakes,” so watching Kimmel make fun of him is an unalloyed delight. Good riddance.