Brow Beat

Stephen Colbert Hopes This New Statue of Liberty Poem Will Be More to Stephen Miller’s Liking

With all that has happened over the past couple of weeks with the Trump administration, it was easy to forget that Stephen Miller, Trump’s senior policy advisor and shoo-in for the 2017 Squidward look-alike contest, even exists. However, Miller stepped back into the political spotlight on Wednesday when the White House brought him out to defend Trump’s new immigration plan. Over the course of one press conference, Miller and his ever-receding hairline managed to fling a veiled anti-Semitic epithet at CNN’s Jim Acosta and dispute the actual symbolism behind the Statue of Liberty because Emma Lazarus famous poem “The New Colossus” inviting the “poor, huddled masses” was “not part of the original Statue of Liberty.” Miller’s press briefing was incredibly bizarre so, of course, on Thursday night, Stephen Colbert had something to say about it.

“I have never seen a presidential administration refuse to fully endorse the Statue of Liberty,” Colbert quipped at his desk. “Here’s the thing about the poem on the Statue of Liberty: I agree with Stephen Miller that we’re never going to live up to it. It’s an aspirational document, like ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Or ‘All men are created equal.’ Or ‘Employees must wash hands before returning to work.’ It’s something to strive for! Just because we don’t make it doesn’t mean it’s meaningless.”

Colbert then went into the highlight of the bit, where he brandished a green tablet and torch, and recited a new poem that would be more to the Trump administration’s liking.

“Give me your wealthy, your rich,
your huddled M.B.A.s yearning to be tax-free.
Send these, your English-speaking, fully insured, to me.
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!
And lift my leg upon your filthy poor.
P.S. No fatties, please.”

Kinda gets you all choked up, doesn’t it?