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A Nation Weeps as Sean Spicer Turns Down Dancing With the Stars

Sean Spicer. 

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It’s official: There is no God. We know this because, according to TMZ, Sean Spicer has turned down an offer from ABC to be a contestant on the upcoming season of Dancing With the Stars.

According to a source close to the former White House press secretary, Spicer, no stranger to embarrassing himself in front of millions of Americans, reportedly declined the network’s offer because he expects to have an “overwhelming number of commitments in the fall.” TMZ’s source also added that Spicer is not a very good dancer, which is something we all probably could have assumed.

Spicer is expected to leave the White House sometime later this month, although there were rumblings that he was planning to stay in the West Wing after his successor, The Mooch, was fired. Page Six has reported that Spicer has signed a deal with celebrity attorney Bob Barnett to represent him after he took meetings with major news networks to look for his post-White House gig.