After House members in the GOP passed the American Health Care Act by the slimmest of margins, there was some hope—futile as it may have been—that senators would either reject the bill or make it less, well, terrible. So it wasn’t the greatest omen when we learned who’d be working on the bill: 13 white guys, led by none other than Majority Leader Mitch McConnell.
The Daily Show’s Michelle Wolf wasn’t optimistic in the slightest. “Look at the senators that we’re trusting with health care,” she explained. “That doesn’t look like the panel that protects women—that looks like the panel that says ‘Well, she drowned. Guess she wasn’t a witch. Throw in another one!’ ”
The all-male panel of senators is currently working on a bil that isn’t exactly woman-friendly; citing a CNN report, Wolf noted that anything from pregnancy to breast cancer to “irregular periods” could be classified as pre-existing conditions under the new law. On that last detail, particularly, the Daily Show correspondent took issue: “Quick glimpse into a lady’s life: Every period is an irregular period. It’s not like a paycheck where it arrives on the same day every month.”
But there may be a silver lining. If the inclusion of “irregular periods” in the bill’s text proves one thing, according to Wolf, it’s that men hate talking about periods. Women just need to show up to Congress, scare the men away, and take the health care reins. “The men will disappear like a boner when you smell grandma,” Wolf cracked. “And then us women can handle this shit ourselves. And don’t worry, congressmen: Under our plan, we’ll cover assholes.”