Historically, things have not gone well for the spacecraft crews in the Alien movies. They have an unfortunate habit of getting torn to ribbons by Xenomorphs, and that’s only if they’re lucky enough to not have alien larvae rip them open from the inside. However—and hear me out on this—they also don’t have to follow the 24-hour news cycle here on Earth. Imagine: no Twitter, no email, no Facebook; just peace, quiet, and the merciless gaze of an organism engineered to destroy all living things.
That’s the bargain the astronauts in this new scene from Alien: Covenant have made, whether they realize it yet or not, and let’s face it: It looks like a better and better deal with each passing news update. Sure, Katherine Waterston, James Franco, Billy Crudup, Danny McBride, and the rest of the crew in this scene are never going to make it back to Earth. On the other hand: They’re never going to make it back to Earth! They can eat and drink and goof around, secure in the knowledge that nothing President Trump does will make much difference out in the vast expanse of space. They probably don’t even know who Milo Yiannopoulos is! So although the new scene may only promise more of the same when considered as a movie, considered as a business proposition, it looks like a masterpiece. Alien: Covenant will be in theaters on May 19, unless we’re fortunate enough to have Xenomorphs lay their eggs in our abdominal cavities before then.