Sometimes a film, no matter how short, leaves everyone who sees it completely at a loss for words. That’s the case with the first trailer for Paramount’s Monster Trucks, a movie that was announced so long ago that Deadline was still using “TOLDJA!” headlines. So rather than discuss this Chris Wedge movie about an octopus creature that lives in a truck—because really, what is there to say—here’s a brief collection of unrelated historical events.
July 31, 2013: Nikki Finke breaks the story that Paramount is planning a film about monster trucks for a summer 2015 release. The film is “Adam Goodman’s priority project for Paramount animation” and “could hopefully become a Transformers-like franchise.”
May 13, 2014: Production on Monster Trucks begins.
January 26, 2015: Monster Trucks is ostensibly finished (cost: $125 million), but Paramount moves its release date back from May to Christmas 2015.
February 25, 2015: With a year left on his contract, Adam Goodman is out at Paramount.
May 5, 2015: Paramount moves the release date for Monster Trucks from Christmas 2015 to March 18, 2016.
August 18, 2015: Bob Bacon, the head of Paramount Animation—marquee project Monster Trucks—exits the studio. Rather than replace him, Paramount eliminates the position entirely.
November 10, 2015: Paramount moves Monster Trucks back again, this time to 2017. For its fourth release date, Paramount settles on a prestigious January slot: specifically, Friday the 13th.
June 1, 2016: Audiences finally get a glimpse of Monster Trucks footage as the first trailer is released. The light goes out of their eyes before they can find the right words.
Monster Trucks, starring Lucas Till, Jane Levy, Thomas Lennon, and the monster from The Faculty, will be in theaters this January. Theoretically.