Brow Beat

“Pinot Noir”: A Video Review of Tituss Burgess’ New Wine, in Song

On Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Titus Andromedon makes a glorious music video for a self-penned song called “Peeno Noir,” “an ode to black penis.” This song is so good that it was inevitable that we’d get a merchandising spinoff from Tituss Burgess, the actor behind this brilliantly rendered character. Well, now we have, and that spinoff is … Tituss-branded red wine.

We decided to review Tituss’ Pinot Noir, Pinot by Tituss Burgess—specifically, to sing our thoughts from the rooftops (or, you know, in front of windows and fireplaces in various costumes), in the mode of the viral hit that inspired it. The general take-away? This is definitely a novelty wine and is definitely best drunk while attempting an operatic falsetto.