On The Tonight Show, Steve Martin made up an anthem for every late-night guest who has ever wondered, at the 11th hour, why they’re even going on TV in the first place (before they remember whatever they’re promoting). The song, titled “I Don’t Want to Do This Show,” is a jaunty ditty that would surely feel at home on Broadway—which, convieniently, is where Bright Star, the musical that Martin co-created, will open on March 24.
“I used up all my stories/ When I was in my 40s/ But now I’m 52 years old, and I don’t want to do this show,” Martin laments. He also considers with dread whether or not he’ll be asked about current events—or his romantic history. But most of all, Martin dreads small talk—like asking Fallon about his family “as if I care/ I don’t care/ No one cares.” Amen.