Brow Beat

Watch Hotel Cleaning Staff Tell Nikki Glaser Their Grossest, Most Hilarious Horror Stories    

We’ve all heard by now that hotel quilts are unwashed Petri dishes best not touched with a 10-foot pole, but Tuesday’s Not Safe With Nikki Glaser gives us some ideas about other things to avoid touching when we check into a hotel: basically, everything.

“Don’t touch anything near the door,” one hotel cleaning lady advises. When Glaser asked where certain bodily fluids were most likely to be hiding, the responses were frightening: “All over the pillows,” “all over the sheets,” “on all surfaces especially the phone and remote control,” “lampshades,” and “the toilet,” are just a few. And when asked for some of the most horrifying things they’d found, somehow a double-sided dildo managed to be the most benign thing on the list. The anecdotes are hilarious, but it’s hard not to consider heeding one woman’s sage advice: “Just don’t go to hotels.”