We’ve all heard by now that hotel quilts are unwashed Petri dishes best not touched with a 10-foot pole, but Tuesday’s Not Safe With Nikki Glaser gives us some ideas about other things to avoid touching when we check into a hotel: basically, everything.
“Don’t touch anything near the door,” one hotel cleaning lady advises. When Glaser asked where certain bodily fluids were most likely to be hiding, the responses were frightening: “All over the pillows,” “all over the sheets,” “on all surfaces especially the phone and remote control,” “lampshades,” and “the toilet,” are just a few. And when asked for some of the most horrifying things they’d found, somehow a double-sided dildo managed to be the most benign thing on the list. The anecdotes are hilarious, but it’s hard not to consider heeding one woman’s sage advice: “Just don’t go to hotels.”