Brow Beat

Stephen Colbert Predicted the Entire Plot of The Force Awakens

We’re still awhile out from the Dec. 18 release of The Force Awakens. But that hasn’t stopped fans from trying to divine plot points and details from trailers and promotional material. And now Star Wars superfan and geek extraordinaire Stephen Colbert has outdone them all by attempting to predict the movie’s entire plot, based solely on its new trailer.

Colbert says: It’s been three decades since the original movies’ events. The First Order has replaced the Empire, and now all of our trained allegiances within the Star Wars universe will be reversed: “Dark becomes light. Light becomes dark. The very fabric of the Force is stretched to its limit as a new generation emerges to tear down the false distinctions of the past and unite all of us … once and for all, bringing peace to the galaxy!”

Sounds great—except it’s hard to imagine how that plot leaves room for two more sequels. But Colbert seems confident: “The only problem is now I’ve spoiled the movie for myself, and I really wanted to see it.”