Brow Beat

Martha Stewart’s “Beautiful” Cats Have a Better Life Than You Do

Martha Stewart gives Empress Tang a squeeze.

The people demanded an update on Martha Stewart’s cats, and the people have been heard. In her latest personal blog post, fittingly titled “An Update on My Beautiful Cats,” Martha Stewart informed her millions of eager readers that the cats are all right. Better than all right—they eat from a private kitty buffet, sun themselves on the veranda every morning, and enjoy walks on the terrace in the afternoons. In short, they’re living the cushy life of the feline elite, and the photographic evidence indicates that it’s probably better than yours. 

Stewart details the daily routines of her three cats in a 30-picture slide show that’s hard to stop clicking through. Each day at 6 a.m. Bartok, a seal-point Himalayan and Stewart’s oldest cat, rises from his plush, towel-lined bed and ambles toward breakfast. He’s greeted by at least five varieties of food, both wet and dry. “Each bowl has something different,” writes Stewart, “and all the food is refreshed daily. And, just in case you were wondering, the four doggies do not have access to the kitty buffet or their water, which are kept in my servery.” (In the servery, of course!) 

At 6:15 Bartok joins Stewart’s two other cats, Princess Peony and Empress Tang (both dominant calico Persians), on the “large front porch.” Sometimes they venture further onto Stewart’s sprawling grounds. Empress Tang, in particular, seems to have an adventorous streak; photos show her walking along a stone wall in between two impeccably landscaped meadows. “She slowed down to take in the beautiful farm vistas,” Stewart explains. “And then she caught me taking her picture. Good morning, my sweet Empress Tang.” 

There’s a paradox in what makes this post so captivating: On the one hand, Stewart clearly loves her pets just as passionately as the rest of us love our pets—nothing else could explain a 30-photo update with overly detailed captions. On the other hand, Bartok, Princess Peony, and Empress Tang’s lifestyle is as aspirational as their owner’s. It’s a strange feeling to identify with Stewart while simultaneously coveting her cats’ luxurious existence. (Craving more Stewart pet updates? Her two French bulldogs post daily to their own blog.)