Mariela and Tiago, Tattoodatingsite.com. Mariela is a self-taught photographer who moved to New York in 2011 from the Dominican Republic. Tiago has worked as a finishing carpenter since he was a kid. After just two weeks of dating, they moved in together. After four months, they got engaged. Now the two share matching tattoos. “We both have [the word] ‘love’ tattooed in our hands.”
It wasn’t long ago that online dating—and admitting you were dating someone you met online—was a taboo subject. Couples who met online would defer questions about how they met or even make up a story far less scandalous than meeting “anonymously” over the Internet. Clearly that isn’t the case anymore.
A little more than a year ago, photographer Jena Cumbo began photographing couples who had met online for a project she calls “We Met on the Internet.” Cumbo said the initial idea behind the project was to make pictures that were a commentary about modern life. Since the Internet is a vehicle for connection, she said it was a natural progression for dating, especially since connections are now readily available via smartphones. “I think Internet accessibility and the sheer number of people online everyday has to do with why Internet dating isn’t the same little dirty secret anymore,” she said. In fact, Cumbo said she met a boyfriend on Friendster in 2004, and although they’re no longer together romantically, they’re still friends today.
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Nikki and Malliha, Instagram. Nikki saw a photograph of Malliha on Instagram and used it as the screensaver on her tablet. On a hair-themed blog, Nikki saw Malliha again and attempted to reach out, not realizing she was the same person. They eventually met in person at an event and hit it off. Nikki didn’t realize she was dating the woman from her screensaver until one day when Malliha showed Nikki a bunch of her photos.
Jena Cumbo
Donna and Jesse, AOL Chat. Donna doesn’t remember which AOL chat room she met Jesse in back in 1997, but she does remember his screen name. “It had ‘47 in and I thought maybe he’s around the same age as me. … That’s why I said hello,” Donna said. The two spoke over email and phone for about five months before meeting in a mall in Syracuse, N.Y.
Jena Cumbo
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Lily and David, JDate. Lily’s mother set up a JDate profile for Lily. The profile was loaded with lies, Lily said, but she went on a few dates her mother set up for her. She was going to close the account when her mom connected her with David. “I didn’t want my mother to be right,” she admitted. Lily and David have been married for two years.
Jena Cumbo
Cumbo started the project by taking photographs of friends who she knew met their boyfriends or girlfriends online. In a somewhat meta turn, she then began to post ads on Craigslist and other sites in search of more couples. About her aesthetic, Cumbo said she likes to photograph the couples in their space. “I think it says more about them to be surrounded by their things. When that’s not possible, I photograph them somewhere they like to go together,” she said.
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One of her favorite shots is of Mariela and Tiago. “They were basically just standing together, and then the dog licked Tiago’s face, and I caught it,” she recalled. “They share a lot of animals together, so I feel like their dog is very much a part of who they are as a couple.”
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So far, apart from a few couples here and there, Cumbo has only photographed people in the New York City area. She’s hoping to develop the series by shifting the focus toward the middle of America and also to find people who aren’t living in urban environments.
Rain and Nelson, Facebook poke. “Why the hell do I have a [Facebook] poke from a random person?” Rain recalled wondering. He messaged Nelson, and talking on the site eventually turned into a date. They liked each other right away. Nelson has a daughter from a previous relationship. Rain says Nelson’s daughter was a big factor in them getting along so well.
Jena Cumbo
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Taylor and Jonathan, Grindr. Model and photographer Taylor and Bumble and Bumble hair stylist Jonathan met on Grindr, a site known for gay hookups. Taylor’s profile caught Jonathan’s eye. “He stood out because he wasn’t some chunky-looking Chelsea guy. I just kind of knew that we would hit it off, whether it be [as] friends or if we were to date,” said Jonathan.
Jena Cumbo
Jay and Ashley, PlentyOfFish.com. “I thought she was very pretty,” Jay said. “I was intrigued.” He was particularly drawn in by her eyes. Ashley said she also loves Jay’s eyes. “I wanted to start off slow,” she said. “He was polite and all that, and I liked his tattoos, so I was hoping it would turn out romantically.”
Jena Cumbo
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Last year she began to work with writer Gina Tron, who began interviewing the couples Cumbo had photographed and creating brief write-ups about them. The captions listed with each couple’s photo are edited from Tron’s words. Cumbo and Tron are currently trying to publish a book of the work that includes both the images and the interviews. They are looking for a publisher.
The series has received a lot of attention since Cumbo began sharing it. She said that although reaction has been mostly positive, there have been “a few mean comments from homophobic idiots, but that doesn’t discourage me at all.” She has been surprised by all of the attention and feels it is probably because of the project’s upbeat tone. “I think people respond well to my project because it’s a good example of how the Internet can be great and super helpful,” she said.
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Giavanna and David, WriteAPrisoner.com. Back in 2011, Giovanna started writing to David, who was incarcerated at the time. She wasn’t on the site looking for romance but for a pen-pal relationship. She said that David’s profile stood out among the “scary” and often deceptive inmate profiles. David was sentenced to 10 years in prison for a white-collar crime. “I used to work as a computer programmer. It was one of the fraud cases that was really, really prominent in the early 2000s,” David said.
Jena Cumbo
Katharine and David, MySpace. David and Katharine bonded on MySpace over weight loss in 2006. Katharine had just moved to Boston, did an area search on MySpace, and came across David, who mentioned on his profile that he had lost a lot of weight. Katharine had also lost a considerable amount of weight. They emailed a few times a day back and forth for a week and then David asked Katharine out. “I still remember seeing her in her orange coat, and she looked very pretty,” David said.
Jena Cumbo
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Donna and John, Yahoo Personals. Donna contacted John one weekend. John invited her to a movie. John said he was very attracted to her and struggled to keep cool. “I was nervous. I accidentally bumped her knee a couple times,” he said.
Jena Cumbo
Cora and Will, Craigslist Free Stuff. Cora and Will met on Craigslist, but not on the dating section. “I just moved to New York and didn’t have any furniture. Plus, I hardly knew anybody in N.Y. Will posted free movie tickets that he won online,” Cora said. Cora emailed Will about the tickets and he wrote back. A week later they agreed to meet at a coffee shop. Cora waited for 50 minutes and almost left before Will arrived. “I actually had to run most of the way to meet her because I took a cab that got stuck in traffic. I got out of it early and ended up walking in the wrong direction,” Will said. They now have two children.
Jena Cumbo
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Corianna and David, Craigslist. David put up an ad on Craiglist looking for somebody to watch a Red Sox game with. Corianna was on Craigslist one evening after “a few glasses of wine.” She emailed him, he emailed her back, and then she froze up. David sent her another email telling her about himself, which helped Corianna feel more comfortable, so they decided to meet. “There was definitely a spark from the moment we met,” David said.