Five-Ring Circus

Here’s What It Would Sound Like if Scott Hamilton Called Every Sport

Every Olympics fan knows Scott Hamilton’s voice. A figure skater glides around the ice, setting up for an all-important jump, and here comes Hamilton, primed to narrate the action. “Triple Axel! Double toe loop!! Beautifully landed!!!” This is the sound of the Winter Games.

But what if Hamilton brought his pipes to other athletic endeavors? In the video above, we’ve imagined how the 1984 gold medalist might describe the action on the downhill slopes, the biathlon, and a whole bunch of other sports.

Read the rest of Slate’s coverage of the Sochi Olympics.