Midori Ito was nicknamed the “Japanese Jumping Bean.” I totally win.
As for Johnny Weir, I can’t wait to see him in action tonight. He’s made multiple drug references in the past —Weir recently called a competitor’s short program “a vodka shot, let’s snort coke kind of thing”—and U.S. Figure Skating has asked him to tone it down. Sounds like the kind of talking-to that boringifies the whole Olympic Games. At least we’ll still have his costume: He’s skating to a piece called “The Swan” and wears a single orange glove that’s supposed to look like a beak.
Off to go carve “JT + JC” in a tree trunk somewhere …