Pay Dirt

My Ex Keeps Telling People We Broke Up Because I Was a Gold Digger

Do I correct people?

Two hands holding wedding bands and a pen.
Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by BernardaSv/iStock/Getty Images Plus.

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Dear Pay Dirt,

I broke up with my fiancé a month ago. Pre-marital counseling and wedding planning went great. But when we were working on the prenup, it all fell apart.

It became clear to me that he wasn’t willing to put his money where his mouth was with the goals we discussed in counseling (having kids and building a life that created boundaries with his difficult mom).

I’m really sad but don’t want to marry someone who won’t follow through on promises. The problem is, he’s going around telling everyone I was “greedy with the prenup” and he broke up with me. Actually, he was dead set on a prenup that wouldn’t protect our future kids, and his mom helped draft it! So, I broke up with him.

I’m sad and embarrassed by this and don’t know how to move forward. Do I correct people? Do I just let it lie? I told my friends and family we had “a disagreement about kids” as the reason I ended it, to help him save face. Now, I’m getting it all thrown back in my face. What do I do?

—Ex Woes

Dear Ex Woes,

You made an intelligent choice by engaging in premarital counseling and negotiating a prenup, and I’m proud you were willing to walk away when it was clear that you didn’t share the same values. You’re under no obligation to help your ex-fiancé save face, but engaging in a she said, his mother said battle won’t help you heal and move on. It will only prolong your grief over the ended relationship and allow your ex’s mother to continue exerting influence over your life. You might want to clarify the details to a few close friends and family, but don’t get involved in an extended gossip battle. Move on, and let this guy (and his mother) go.

—Lillian

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