It’s Hard to Say What This Private Jet Company’s Family College Tour Offer Makes Look Worse, America or Its Colleges

A man tries out the interior on an Airbus A319 private business jet during the Asian Business Aviation Conference and Exhibition (ABACE2014) at the Shanghai Hongqiao airport on April 14, 2014.
Harvard? I’ll take two.

Hey, do you love your kid? Are your daughter’s college application essays starting to make you feel the emotional tug of an empty nest? Are you trying to be a part of your son’s college selection process? Do you have, at minimum, $57,000 to spend on a private jet to ferry you and your soon-to-be grade-inflation demanding child to visit colleges? If you answered yes to any or all of those questions, or just the last one about money really, has Magellan Jets got a late capitalism campus tour offer for you. The 10-hour jet card. The what? The 10-hour jet card.

What’s the 10-hour jet card? Glad you asked. While most college students have 10-hole burrito punch cards, Magellan Jets offers a “jet card” private flight package to visit college campuses for discriminating one-percenter parents that will be writing their kids essays well into their sophomore year. Imagine: “UCLA, Duke and Yale… All in one weekend.” Sound good? You bet it does.

“As part of their solutions for life offering, Magellan Jets is giving parents the opportunity to be there every step of the way in the most important decision of their child’s life. Simply tell Magellan Jets the colleges your child would like to visit, and their flight support team will arrange an itinerary based on the schools, tour dates, pick-up and drop off services, and more,” the company promotional copy reads. “Through a partnership with leading college admissions firm, Top-Tier Admissions, Magellan Jets will also have a college concierge onboard. They will assist with the process and be by your side to ask questions during the tours to help make the big decision.”

Any other perks for 60 grand?

“Cabin customization and college specific items on board.”

Hate us cause they ain’t us.