The Most Ridiculous Analogy

The results of Moneybox’s Fox Business Channel contest.

Earlier this week, in a piece wondering whether the launch of Fox Business Channel was an indicator of a market top, I questioned one of the professed rationales for the Fox biz venture—that CNBC, which dominates the field, isn’t sufficiently pro-business or bullish on the markets. I invited readers to provide their own metaphors and analogies to describe the purported need for a new entrant in a market to provide balance to the dominant force—by going even further over the edge.

Many thanks to all those who responded. The top 11 are below. (Because several hit similar themes or overlapped, I have melded some of the comments into single items.)

Saying that the viewers need another business news channel because of CNBC’s alleged anti-business, anti-American bias is a little like saying:

11. Ronald Reagan’s face should be put on the dime because we don’t have enough nostalgia for the Gipper.

10. We need to invade Iran because occupying two countries in the Middle East with insufficient manpower isn’t enough to defeat the terrorists.

9. The Los Angeles Lakers need another shooting forward to counterbalance Kobe Bryant’s unselfish play.

8. Wisconsin needs a new NFL team because the state isn’t obsessed enough with the Green Bay Packers.

7. Coffee enthusiasts need a new chain of coffee shops that are a little easier to find than Starbucks.

6. The henhouse needs to be guarded by a pack of wolves because the old fox is too weak and mild-mannered.

5. Heroin addicts need a new drug habit that is more compelling.

4. America needs expanded distribution of the Observer because Slate isn’t sufficiently liberal.

3. Britney Spears should have another baby because her talents as a mother are clearly underutilized with only two children.

2. New Delhi needs more monkeys because macaques aren’t scary enough.

1. We need a new computer company, Pear, Inc., which will sell computers that run a proprietary operating system, along with a music player that uses a unique proprietary format, and a phone that works only with certain carriers, because Apple isn’t sufficiently out of the mainstream.