The XX Factor: What women really think.

Easy on Todd

Dahlia, I'm of the school that we should be easy on Todd. The campaign's description of this controversy is, of course, absurd: they claim people are criticizing him for being "an active dad who wants to be with his kids and with his wife when he's not on the slope," says a spokeswoman in the Washington Post story. But of course no one in his right mind would criticize him for that. That's all just part of the "First Dude" mythology, where he does kamikaze races with a broken arm while holding a child in the other. People criticize him for those strongarming phone calls to city and state officials, for helping to write the budget when he's just as unqualified as his wife. 

Still, the reason I think we should lay off is because it's high time for a new First Lady/First Dude standard. There is some part of us that clings to the notion of First Person as arm candy, even though we know that's a fiction. In life, we expect a spouse to stand up for his or her wife or husband, to support them even to the point of thuggishness. We even admire that at some level. And yet we can't bring ourselves to transfer that attitude to politics.

I'd much prefer a First Lady who makes bullying midnight phone calls than one who runs anodyne library fairs or plants flowers, which seems like the last vestiges of the mid-century housewife. Lady Bird Johnson was able to turn her gardening into a national green crusade. But now the First Lady as domestic goddess always comes off as an awkward fit. I'd like for there to be a space for a Hillary-style wife to run a health care task force if she's qualified to do that. Or even a Cherie Blair, competent but removed.  And it's hard to defend a new model if we instinctively slam on Todd.

And yes, you're right, Dahlia, our ambivalence on this question shows through. We need no more proof than the recent Greta Van Susteren interview of Todd, which is truly one of the most excruciatingly awkward conversations I've ever witnessed. Talking Points memo ran a geniusly edited version.