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The Hollywood Reporter posted last night about a musical version of Heathers, the 1988 black comedy film (oh, has a genre epithet ever seemed more inadequate?) starring Winona Ryder and Christian Slater. I'm dubious and excited at the same time. This is sacred material we're talking about here: What slightly offbeat, sorta-smart girl in the late '80s to mid-'90s didn't identify with Ryder's Veronica Sawyer? She was like a proto-Daria, only less acidic and with a higher body count. Girlfriend rocked a monocle!
On the other hand, the thought of finally seeing a fully choreographed version of "Teenage Suicide—Don't Do It!" fills my heart with gladness. Just take a look at all these great Heathers quotes that would make excellent song lead-ins:
Heather Chandler: Corn Nuts!
Veronica Sawyer: Plain or BQ?
Heather Chandler: BQ!
Veronica Sawyer: This isn't just a spoke in my menstrual cycle.
Veronica Sawyer: I just killed my best friend.
J.D.: And your worst enemy.
Veronica Sawyer: Same difference.
Meanwhile, I'm happy to report that while researching my "Explainer" today about the global uses of the mother-incest insult, I discovered that Heathers is offered as an example in the Oxford English Dictionary of "f-ck me and elaborated variants: expressing astonishment or exasperation." The linguistically significant quote—and if you're a fan, you've probably used it a dozen times yourself—"F-ck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?" That's lyrical gold right there.