The XX Factor: What women really think.



  • Motherhood is Forever


    There was a time when teenage mothers typically dropped out of school, moved out from their mothers and needed public assistance. Baby daddies would come and go (as has always been the case). Today, prospects are slightly better for mother and child. Nowadays children having babies often live with their parents and finish high school while the family weal provides for the child. Jessica quite rightly respects the Flatbush teen in the New York Times audio slideshow for having "a real head on her shoulders" because, after her daughter Mahniya, she does not want to have more children for a while, despite that she is still with the baby's father who participates in Mahniya's care. But, as Emily points out, the story of Elizabeth Cousins sends the wrong message. Her 19-month-old toddler is adorable and no doubt far more emotionally rewarding than the partying her young mother has had to give up, but, while thoroughly engaging, toddlers are the most exhausting creatures on earth.  Moreover, as her young parents have most likely figured out by now, their tireless little girl is just going to keep on growing. Although Elizabeth may not look like it, or feel like it, that 16-year-old is the grown-up in her new family. For the rest of her life her daughter will need her to act like one.

  • Bristol as Role Model


    Jess, I actually prefer Bristol Palin as a poster girl for teen motherhood to the young woman in the New York Times you link to. If you're a teenage girl and you'd followed Bristol's saga, it might actually make you realize that getting pregnant in high school would pretty much ruin your life: the embarrassing attempt to tell your parents; the pressure to marry your boyfriend; the breakup with your boyfriend because he's an immature jerk; your boyfriend telling everyone about you; you having to spend all your time babysitting for your brother and your own kid—only it's not babysitting if it's your own kid. This New York Times piece, with its mostly happy narration and beatific photographs of mother and child sends the message that while teenage motherhood is hard, it's also doable and fulfilling, and the reward of an adorable child who loves you is enormous. 
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