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  • Competitive Complaining, and Other Strategies for a Happy Life


    Like Emily Y., I did not exactly grow up planning my wedding—or picking out baby names, for that matter. In fact, the whole time I was single, I had this recurring nightmare that it was my wedding day and there was nothing I could do about it. Even as Read More...
  • Only in My Dreams


    Well, what confused me is that Tien does not describe her marriage as a bad marriage, or her predicament as particular. "Don't misunderstand. I would not, could not disparage my marriage," she writes, after spending 500 words describing her husband as Read More...
  • My Funny Valentine


    It seems we are having two discussions here: writing about a rotten marriage, and having one. I agree with Hanna , I don’t know how you write a piece that begins, “I contemplate divorce every day” and not end up writing the sequel, “How I Chose My Divorce Read More...
  • The Mommy Wars, Repurposed?


    Forgive me for wondering whether the whole “women-who-crave-divorce-in-print” boomlet we’re contemplating here is yet another manifestation of the “mommy wars” phenomenon. That is the media-created dustup wherein approximately 18 women (all of them upper-middle-class Read More...
  • Better Than the Train Tracks


    Well, I suppose that through a certain feminist lens everything looks like progress (From Anna Karenina to Ellen Tien). There was a time when any literary heroine who attempted some escape from the confines of a dull, loveless marriage wound up dead or Read More...
  • Clubbing the Plankton


    Ann and Meghan , when I tried to come up with male journalists and essayists who run down their wives last night, Norman Mailer kept popping into my head. Wrong era (and maybe wrong kind of misogyny). The men's companion volume to The Bitch in the House Read More...
  • The Guys'-Eye View?


    Meghan , you ask how male writers treat their wives in print, and I can't say I've been browsing the magazine racks. But for a recent sample, I looked back at Philip Weiss' New York magazine piece on "the trouble with sex and marriage," which supplied Read More...
  • To Love, Honor, Cherish, and Trash—in Print


    Are yoga-toned women of a certain class all secretly dying to get divorced, you ask us, Hanna ? I find it hard to believe—whatever Ellen Tien at O might say about her own divorce daydreams. But a follow-up question might be: Are many women of a certain, Read More...
  • Divorce, Anyone?


    I want to take advantage of what Maureen Dowd dubs the celebrity divorce moment (Christie Brinkley, Madonna) to talk about how this great American pastime figures for the rest of us. When David and I did the Slate V feature in which we spent a day no Read More...
  • Luckily, I Hadn't Even Been in Chicago...


    Tim and Ellen , the few married women I know who've come right out and said they were having affairs all wound up divorcing the hubby and marrying the "other man.'' Only, those are just the ones who talked about it. One of my most gorgeous married friends Read More...
  • Gettin' Some Strange


    That's funny, Meghan — when you just posted asking if any of us had seen Philip Weiss' cover piece for this week's New York , I was debating whether it was worth gathering my own thoughts about it. Poor Weiss is already being eaten alive, entertainingly, Read More...
  • So What Are the Secret Lives of Married Men?


    Has anyone sat down yet with New York 's cover story, a long essay entitled " The Affairs of Men: The Trouble with Sex and Marriage ," pegged to the Eliot Spitzer scandal? Inside, however, is not an outré confession but a fiftysomething baby boomer's Read More...
  • Do You Wear Red Nail Polish, Dress for Breakfast?


    Among the questions in this 1930s Marital Rating Scale, mentioned by Andrew Sullivan . Take it, and learn your worth. (Only the first page is available.) Read More...
  • Looking for Mr. Bachelor


    Elsewhere on Slate , Mark Gimein offers an intriguing theory to explain the seeming shortage of attractive, socially adept, well-employed, single, thirtysomething men—the class eligible-bachelor problem. The gist is that decisive women in their 20s snap Read More...
  • Brangelina and the Power Divorce


    When Brad and Jen broke up, I started finding US Weekly around the house. Finally, mystery solved: My husband, as is turns out, just cannot read enough about Angelina's humanitarian efforts on behalf of children around the world! ( Here , included in Read More...
  • The Good News: No Pathetic Press Conference for Stabenow


    The good news is, Michigan Sen. Debbie Stabenow did not hold a news conference to say she was sticking by her hubby of five years after he confessed to police that he'd been with a prostitute. On the contrary, after the news came out, Stabenow didn't Read More...
  • At Last, an Equal Opportunity Sex Scandal


    And a new record, isn't it, for time elapsed between the swearing in and the swearing at? That's quick work, when right under the New York Times headline "New Governor for New York, Pledging Unity" is this second offering: "Patersons Acknowledge Extramarital Read More...
  • Eliot Is a Rorschach Test, Too


    "Deserve got nuthin' to do with it."—Snoop (and before her, Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven .) Whatever the mix of bad breaks and pathology and misguided, "I Wanna Be a Supermodel" ambition that led Ashley Dupre to the Emperors' Club, I feel sorry for anybody Read More...
  • Rule No. 1 of Public Humiliation: Bring a Date


    On The Daily Show last night, Jon Stewart showed footage of a few of Eliot Spitzer's predecessors in the "Parade of Shame,'' who, as he said, were "all following the one simple rule of public humiliation: Bring a date.'' Then Samantha Bee gave us the Read More...
  • RE: Whore Snore


    Liza and Melinda , I confess I am torn here: Is the problem that big-deal moralizing politicians always cheat or that everyone cheats and the big-deal moralizing politicians always get caught? The late Mrs. Chatterbox, Tim Noah’s wife, Marjorie Williams, Read More...
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