• Love, in Sickness and in Health

  Posted Monday, March 09, 2009 11:11 PM | By Marjorie Valbrun
  
  
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  I wonder if anyone else wept while reading Sunday's "Modern Love" column in the NYT, written by the husband of a paraplegic woman. Whenever I hear these amazing stories of unconditional love, I wonder what I would do if faced with such tragic circumstances. As the uninjured spouse, would I rise to the occasion and become the selfless caretaker able to handle my beloved's involuntary bowel movements in bed and loss of sexual sensation? If I were the injured spouse, would I even want my husband to spend the rest of our lives taking care of me and cleaning up after me, all the while knowing that he will never be able to experience mutually satisfying physical love with me again? Or would I be like the wife in the article and wonder how long I could go on in my altered physical state? Would I consider assisted suicide a better option than lifetime dependency? If allowing oneself to fall madly in love with someone with no guarantees that he/she will not treat your heart like a doormat is among life's biggest risks, allowing that person to regularly see you at your most vulnerable and least physically appealing state has got to be the ultimate expression of trust. I guess that's a husband-and-wife thing that totally amazes a single person like me.
  Filed under: modern love, dependency, physical disability, love and marriage
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