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All the posts and photos about the splash Michelle Obama has made overseas, and talk of etiquette issues, and touching the queen versus not touching the queen, and hugs versus handshakes and marital fanny pats, and the general confusingness of cross-cultural protocol, etc., etc., reminded me of a conversation I had with a French journalist around the time of the inauguration. I wrote a book about Michelle Obama, and the journalist--the French were super-interested in the First Lady even then, for reasons that included but were not limited to the lift she's given the fashion industry--did an interview. The journalist, who was very nice, had a list of questions about Michelle Obama's background and personality, one of which was: "Barack Obama is a very sexy man. If he were to have an affair, do you think Michelle Obama would mind?" The answer to that seemed easy--yes, Mrs. Obama doubtless would mind, I said. Later she asked, "And so, Mrs. Obama, if she were to take a lover, do you think the American people would be okay with that?" Also easy: American people, definitely not okay. She looked sort of puzzled. I felt sort of parochial. But maybe not. Among the many things the Obamas may transform into a hot global fashion: Fidelity.
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There's been some buzz today about whether Michelle Obama breached protocol by half-hugging the queen during her visit to Buckingham Palace. Given that the answer is a resounding "no," this is likely to die down pretty soon. Still, it's worth watching this CNN clip discussing the nonissue just for the slow-mo, repeated playing of the incident—a treatment better saved for scenes like this.
Buckingham Palace aside, my question about hugging—and maybe this is one for Penny, The Big Money's new advice columnist—is in what work settings an embrace is appropriate. I've often found myself the only female in a conference room, and as we go around doing obligatory hellos, I watch the men give one another hearty handshakes, then reach out to me for a hug. I find handshakes a bit forced and am generally happy to hug. Still, it feels like a slight of some sort not to be greeted by the same professional custom given to the guys. Should I more aggressively thrust out my hand so they grab that instead? Am I reading too much into this? (Judging by today's news coverage, though, it's fair game to overanalyze hugs.)
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