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Today's Washington Post Home section features a priceless interview with the First Diva of Craft, Martha Stewart, who has just come out with Encyclopedia of Crafts. The interviewer opens on a question about how the recession is affecting domestic life. (Er. Foreclosures? Glue gun out on the sidewalk, along with the rest of my possessions?) Martha falls right for the bait:
People are staying home and enjoying it by crafting and beautifying their home with decorating and cooking. They can't afford to travel, but they can afford a [$23] glitter kit.
Martha then digs in further and further, offering herself, whose net worth is $970 million, as an example of thrift.
I have always been kind of frugal and cautious in terms of extravagance. So I have always turned the lights out when I leave a room...I am a serious gardener, and I grow my own food and have my own chickens and eggs...I am not buying as many trees to plant as I would like, but that can wait until next year.
Yes, Martha, when I'm feeling the pinch, I too space out my tree purchases. And put my horse masseuse on a bi-weekly schedule.
Of course, Martha is only representing the brand here. She understands that we understand that she really does not dig her hands into the chickenshit every morning, but that we need her to pretend she does. And she keeps up a good front, until the interviewer gets to the toxic combination of her own daughter, Alexis, and the true habits of the hoi polloi. Her daughter conducted an online poll asking readers what they would bring if invited to Martha's house: wine, flowers, cake or brownies. (Flowers won)
If you bring flowers, it's like bringing coals to Newcastle. I have more flowers than most people. I certainly don't need a cake; I would be making the cake. Brownies? No.
No, indeed.