The XX Factor: What women really think.



  • Ain’t Nothin But a He Thing


    Men’s mag Esquire has always been one of my legitimate favorites, primarily because it offers at least one if not two or three pieces of good reported journalism each issue—and provides arch but accessible fashion tips to guys without descending into the consumerism and petty quizletry that I encounter in even the most edgy women’s magazines. Which is why this month’s “How to Be a Man” feature was so disappointing. From the cover story:
    A man carries cash. A man looks out for those around him—woman, friend, stranger. A man can cook eggs. A man can always find something good to watch on television. A man makes things—a rock wall, a table, the tuition money. Or he rebuilds—engines, watches, fortunes. He passes along expertise, one man to the next. Know-how survives him. This is immortality. A man can speak to dogs. A man fantasizes that kung fu lives deep inside him somewhere. A man knows how to sneak a look at cleavage and doesn't care if he gets busted once in a while. A man is good at his job. Not his work, not his avocation, not his hobby. Not his career. His job. It doesn't matter what his job is, because if a man doesn't like his job, he gets a new one…

    A man loves the human body, the revelation of nakedness. He loves the sight of the pale breast, the physics of the human skeleton, the alternating current of the flesh. He is thrilled by the snatch, by the wrist, the sight of a bare shoulder. He likes the crease of a bent knee. When his woman bends to pick up her underwear, he feels that thrum that only a man can feel.

    A man doesn't point out that he did the dishes.

    Oooookay. I had been keeping a tally of things that I, woman, could also do—cash, check; eggs, hell yeah; hungover Bravo TV, yup—but pretty much stopped at “pale breast” (assumed that had gone out of vogue when they finally started making band-aids for black people). Wait, no! At “snatch.”

    I generally enjoy Tom Chiarella’s work, but this reads like some kind of grunting parody of male speech and thought patterns—jerky, reductive, and obsessed with stereotypical tropes of manhood (boobs, booze, breadwinning). Who talks like that? The emphasis on earning potential seems especially tone-deaf; in 2009, women are working in record numbers, and it’s men bearing the brunt of the layoffs in this recession. As for rebuilding “engines, watches, fortunes”: Just about every man I know is so divorced from any vestigial handyman tendencies that, if faced with an engine in need of assembly, he would simply Google “mechanic” on his iPhone and let the ripoff begin. And what’s wrong with that? At least it’s honest—and equal opportunity (I could do that, too!).

    Finally, when Esquire insists that a man

    doesn't see himself lost in some great maw of humanity, some grand sweep. That's the liberal thread; it's why men won't line up as liberals

    I just think of all the men who do identify as liberals, and never imagined doing so magically betrays their gender. Why peddle that political point?

    And what would a women’s list look like? One longs for Salt ‘N’ Pepa at this point. Cool cover, though.

     

    Or join the discussion
    on the Fray
0 Comments
<February 2010>
SMTWTFS
31123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28123456
78910111213
Print This ArticlePRINT Discuss in the FrayDISCUSS

Syndication