The XX Factor: What women really think.

Vermont Makes History After All!

Vermont proves that the incremental approach does work. Vermont's leg didn't start with full equality... nor is it the only one to have voted in favor of equality. ("Firsts" are always complicated.) Some history: A decade ago, Vermont's top court ordered the legislature to recognize same-sex couples some way, somehow. (I remember interviewing those first plaintiffs for Out magazine—seems like millenniums ago.) That decision led to the nation's first "civil union" law, roughly equivalent to what Scandinavia was then calling "registered partnerships." The predicted locusts and plagues failed to descend.

Meanwhile, all around Vermont, marriage bells started ringing. In January 2001, at Vermont's northern border, Canada started marrying same-sex pairs. To Vermont's south, Massachusetts enacted marriage on May 17, 2004 (the 50^th anniversary of the SCOTUS's Brown v. Board of Education decision). And although the Massachusetts legislature didn't gender-neutralize marriage, state lawmakers repeatedly upheld the decision by overwhelming votes. Meanwhile, after California's population voted to ban recognition of same-sex marriage in 2000 (in response to Vermont's civil unions), its LGBT community started a long-term organizing project that resulted in a registered domestic partnership law as strong as Vermont's civil unions. The Golden State's legislature twice passed marriage bills, although lawmakers couldn't override the Governator's veto.

California's road toward marriage is too complicated to summarize—it involves several initiatives, a rogue mayor, a few court cases, and more than 35 million people. (Remember, California is more populous and demographically diverse than, say, Canada.) But my guess is that California will join the pro-marriage roster within five years. That might put it after New Hampshire, New York, New Jersey, and who knows what other new state.

But today is Vermont's day—and proof that you can win if you aim for marriage, accept second-best temporarily, show your neighbors that having two legally coupled women next door doesn't scare the cows or turn children gay, and organize and lobby like hell for full equality. Hurray to my northern neighbors! Wish I could be there for the dance party! Iowa, Sweden, Vermont: What a cool spring it is to be gay!!

*Correction, April 7, 2009: The original post said "It makes me want to cry ... or run up to Burlington and kiss every legislator who voted to treat me as an full human being." A reader pointed out that Vermont legislators work out of the state capital, Montpelier, not Burlington.

Same-Sex Marriage in Vermont?

Speaking of another kind of freedom, last week, the Vermont Senate has passed a bill that would enable same-sex couples to marry, and not just get civilly unionized (civilly united? civilized?).The Vermont House is expected to pass the bill this week. The governor says he'll veto it—despite a survey showing that 55 percent of Vermonters are in favor, a few percentage points more than last year. No one knows whether there will be enough votes to override his veto. If the bill passes, Vermont would be the third American state with full marriage rights for same-sex pairs—and the first to have successfully done it via the legislature. (The California legislature passed marriage bills twice, but everything in California ends up in the initiative process and in the courts ... more details here.)

I am sure that some of you thought that civil unions and marriage were functionally equivalent. Not really. Vermont public radio interviewed me yesterday about the difference between civil unions and marriage, the hilarious history of marriage, the hard-fought and incremental gender-neutralization of marriage law over the past 150 years, and why same-sex couples belong today. Listen here, if you have a couple of extra minutes to kill.