The XX Factor: What women really think.

Sugar Is Power

Dahlia, how would a sugar daddy give you the freedom to work and take care of your kids, too? Because then you can outsource the rest of the treadmill, not just doing the dishes but also buying Hanukkah presents?

My own feeling about work-life balance is that the problem isn't work and it isn't the kids: It's all the other expectations of middle-class life, some of them, at least, self-inflicted. Do I—do my husband and I, I should say—really need to have friends over for brunch this weekend and throw my older son's birthday party? And so I do fantasize about a fairy godmother who whisks all the errands away. (In the meantime, shopping on the Web helps. A lot.) But I'm with Hanna, for this reason along with many other good feminist ones: Money is power. If you make it, you also make decisions. If you don't, you often end up deferring to the breadwinner. Not always, but often, and no matter how well-intentioned and theoretically equality-espousing both partners or spouses are. Such is my observation, anyway.