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Yesterday, Eve pointed out that Dan Quayle speechwriter turned National Review blogger Lisa Schiffren took a swipe at the XX Factor bloggers -- something about the audacity of our dislike of Sarah Palin and love for Michelle Obama. (Je stands accused!) Was it a coincidence that I took a swipe at Schiffren the day previous? Methinks not. Either way, such slandering prompted some digging into Schiffren's backlog of neocrank opinion, and it seems we're in good company.
According to Schiffren, our new President is a communist.
Obama and I are roughly the same age. I grew up in liberal circles in
New York City — a place to which people who wished to rebel against
their upbringings had gravitated for generations. And yet, all of my
mixed race, black/white classmates throughout my youth, some of whom I
am still in contact with, were the product of very culturally specific
unions. They were always the offspring of a white mother, (in my
circles, she was usually Jewish, but elsewhere not necessarily) and
usually a highly educated black father. And how had these two come
together at a time when it was neither natural nor easy for such
relationships to flourish? Always through politics. No, not the young
Republicans. Usually the Communist Youth League.
Oh, and don't get her started on gay marriage. From "Gay Marriage, an Oxymoron," a 1996 New York Times Op-Ed (not available online):
[O]ne may feel the same affection for one's homosexual friends and relatives as for any other, and be genuinely pleased for the happiness they derive from relationships, while opposing gay marriage for principled reasons.
"Same-sex marriage" is inherently incompatible with our culture's understanding of the institution. Marriage is essentially a lifelong compact between a man and woman committed to sexual exclusivity and the creation and nurture of offspring. For most Americans, the marital union -- as distinguished from other sexual relationships and legal and economic partnerships -- is imbued with an aspect of holiness. Though many of us are uncomfortable using religious language to discuss social and political issues, Judeo-Christian morality informs our view of family life.
So, does this mean Schiffren's not going to come to my unholy gay communist slumber party?
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Ladies! To the trenches! We've been slandered! Over at National Review's "The Corner," Lisa Schiffren bewails the "orchestrated deception" involved in the Obamas' (entirely traditional) hiring of a White House chef -- and dings the XX Factor in the process:
According the New York Times,
Sam Kass, who cooked for the Obamas in Chicago will now move onto the
government payroll as a White House chef. ... Who knew? I believed all that stuff about how Michelle was an
overburdened modern working mother, rushing from school dropoff to her
high-paying, demanding work at the hospital, to dress fittings, to
whatever it was she needed to do to support her husband's political
aspirations, back home to take care of her daughters. Call me naive,
but that model usually includes making dinner. ...
Didn't the women at Slate, among others, complain that there
was something offensive about Sarah Palin's apparent ability to raise 5
children, run the state of Alaska, run marathons, and cook those
mooseburgers—because it set the bar too high for ordinary women? But
they were willing to believe that Michelle could do it all, and keep it
all organic and healthy at that—because she has a law degree from
Harvard?
Yes, I left parts of Schiffren's post out, but no, it doesn't make any more sense when they're put back in. I do recommend reading the whole bizarre thing if you haven't gotten your day's dose of 17 laughs in yet.
To take Schiffren's post seriously for a moment, rather than perpetrating some kind of lie, Michelle Obama has long admitted to being a bit cooking-averse (here's one instance, from May of 2007). Schiffren's a journalist, right? Call me naive, but that model usually includes Lexis-Nexising.