The XX Factor: What women really think.

Men Are From Mars, Women From Venus, and We're All on Pluto

Emily, you asked why self-identified feminists like Susan Pinker and LouAnn Brizendine publish books that focus on the differences between men and women. The cynic in me says: The marketplace finds it sexier than more talk about feminist goals that haven't been met yet. (As you pointed out, Brizendine's book was a best-seller.) But to be less simplistic about it: It seems to me that we are at a crux where we think we know more about the brain than ever before. Whether we do or not is perhaps subject to debate—and I really look forward to reading Amanda's series. But all this scientific novelty has resulted in a frenzy of really old activity: the use of new technologies to reaffirm traditional canards about "how women are." (We don't like to take risks, etc.) Whatever the realities of "hard-wired differences," it's kind of astonishing to watch so many columnists and authors use "brain science" to embrace the idea that things are the way they are for a reason. 

So in response to your fascinating question, I have to conclude that even for women it's sometimes a relief to imagine that we don't need to set ourselves the task of reinventing the world. That, combined with the fact that there are some studies that show "real" differences, makes for a tempting menu option. Not to mention that sometimes relationships can make everything seem completely oppositional. Hence, the paradigm that men are from Mars; women are from Venus. It's easier than thinking we're all on Pluto and need to do the hard work of getting back to Earth.

 A wonderful book that debunks a lot of gender myths is Carol Tavris' The Mismeasure of Women. I read it a few summers back, and parts of it are a bit outdated now. But I still recommend it to anyone interested in these questions. Among many other useful exercises, she invites the reader to try to perform a useful thought experiment: Imagine there were a third gender. Men, women, and, say, it. Would we be so focused all the time on construing "difference" as "oppositional"? As she points out, differences between the genders may indeed exist; but as more than one scientist has noted, the differences may pale in comparison to the similiarities.