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Many of my happiness-project activities are aimed at my resolution to Be a treasure house of happy memories. Studies show that thinking back on happy times elevates mood, and observing and preserving memories is one of the most satisfying ways of bringing order to life.
My mother started a memory-keeping tradition a few years ago that has proved to be a lot of fun.
She bought two matching lined journals, one for each granddaughter. At the end of every visit to Kansas City, my older daughter writes a paragraph about the highlights of our visit, and I write in my younger daughter’s book.
We’ve only been doing it since 2007, but already, we all enjoy looking back at the entries from past visits. It’s astounding how quickly even intense memories fade, and how effectively a brief note reminds us of highlights from the past – the time my daughter fell into the duck pond, the time my father set off the fire alarm when making pancakes, the time when my sister and her husband got locked in the bedroom.
(The fact that these mishaps are highlights proves the Secret of Adulthood that my mother taught me: "The times when things go wrong often make the best memories." Good to keep in mind.)
It’s also interesting to see my older daughter’s handwriting change, and to see how my younger daughter has gone from adding her scribbles to my note to being able to write her name.
Now, is this tradition a bit of a pain? Yes, it is. We procrastinate every visit, and usually end up writing in the notebooks in the last ten minutes before we leave for the airport. But now we all know that we’ll be glad to have the record, later. My mother wisely keeps the bar low -- all she asks for is four or five sentences. The perfect can be the enemy of the good, and if my mother pressed us for something more elaborate, or more neatly done, we might resist more energetically.
The one-sentence journal, the diary of days, and this trip journal are all quick, untaxing ways to keep memories vivid. I wouldn't be able to keep a long, detailed journal, but I can keep up with these other methods.
Have you found any good strategies to help keep happy memories vivid?
* Danielle LaPorte of the excellent White Hot Truth ("because self-realization rocks") was nice enough to do an interview with me. I wasn't surprised when her questions were surprising and thought-provoking.
* If the idea of keeping a one-sentence journal appeals to you, remember, that's one of the Tools in the Happiness Project Toolbox.
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“True contentment is a thing as active as agriculture. It is the power of getting out of any situation all that there is in it. It is arduous and it is rare.”
-- G.K. Chesterton
* If you're considering starting your own happiness project, check out the Happiness Project Toolbox. It's fun, it's addictive, and it pulls together some of the tools that will help.
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I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.
I’ve written about the resolution to Make your bed before, and I’m bringing it up again. Why? To my astonishment, when I’ve asked people what happiness-project resolution has made a big difference in their happiness, many people cite the modest “Make your bed.”
Happiness is a lofty aim, and making your bed is such a prosaic activity. Why does it boost happiness so effectively?
From my own experience, and what people have told me, I think there are two reasons.
First, making your bed is a step that’s quick and easy, yet makes a big difference. Everything looks neater. It’s easier to find your shoes. Your bedroom is a more peaceful environment. For most people, outer order contributes to inner calm.
Second, sticking to any resolution – no matter what it is – brings satisfaction. You’ve decided to make some change, and you’ve stuck to it. Because making my bed is one of the first things I do in the morning, I start the day feeling efficient, productive, and disciplined.
(Now, some people say that, to the contrary, they revel in not making their beds. One of my Secrets of Adulthood is The opposite of a great truth is also true, and for some people, a useful resolution might be “Don’t make your bed.” One person wrote to me, “My mother was so rigid about keeping the house tidy when I was a child that now I get a huge satisfaction from not making my bed, not hanging up my coat, etc. It makes me feel free.” Some people thrive on a little chaos. Everyone’s happiness project is different.)
True, making your bed is a small gesture – but that’s one reason that it’s a good resolution. Sometimes the steps toward happiness seem insurmountable. Getting a job in a brutal work market, dealing with a troubled child, living with chronic pain – there are no easy solutions to these happiness challenges.
Especially if you’re feeling overwhelmed, picking one little task to improve your situation, and doing it regularly, can help you regain a sense of self-mastery. Making your bed is a good place to start, because tackling one easy daily step is a good way to energize yourself for tougher situations.
What about you? Does making your bed – or not making your bed – contribute in a small way to your happiness? Or have you found other manageable resolutions that have brought more happiness than you would've expected?
* I was mesmerized by this little video I saw on Gimundo -- collaborative time-lapse painting.
* I send out short monthly newsletters that highlight the best of the previous month’s posts to about 26,000 subscribers. If you’d like to sign up, click here or email me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. (sorry about that weird format – trying to to thwart spammers.) Just write “newsletter” in the subject line. It’s free.
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Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: Eight tips for what to carry when you travel with kids.
In general, I aim to travel light, but I’ve learned over the years that this generally isn't a good strategy as a parent. If anything teaches you the happiness value of preparation, it’s parenthood. The right supplies can mean the difference between misery and good cheer.
If you’re traveling with a baby, of course you need a whole different set of supplies. My children are out of that stage, and now I never go on a trip without at least most of these items:
1. A bag of almonds. These are for me as much as for my children.
2. A bottle of water. (Usually I’m violently opposed to bottled water, but I now concede that it’s good to have a bottle when you travel.)
3. Novelty candy. By this, I mean a candy that’s odd (e.g., Pop Rocks, candy spray) or takes a long time to eat (candy necklace) or fun in some way (Pez). I save this to whip out if my kids get crabby. Chocolate or anything that can melt is a risky choice.
4. Coloring book and markers, but remember to check that the markers aren’t all dried out. Just learned this the hard way. (Spend out! Don’t put a dud marker back in the box. A metaphor for life.)
5. Books.
6. Wipes. Not just for babies anymore.
7. Camera. Remember to charge it. Learned that the hard way, too.
8. We finally caved and bought a portable DVD player. This is a great invention. I actually finished Ken Follett’s The Pillars of the Earth on the plane while my daughters were transfixed by My Neighbor Totoro.
Irrelevant note to entrepreneurs out there: I think the scratch-and-sniff market has been sorely overlooked. Growing up, my sister had a collection of scratch-and-sniff stickers, and we still have fun going through her big pile. The Sweet Smell of Christmas is one of our favorite picture books. Happiness is a great scratch-and-sniff!
* Interested in starting your own happiness project? If you’d like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just e-mail me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. (Sorry about writing it in that roundabout way; I’m trying to thwart spammers.) Just write “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.
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One of the biggest surprises of my happiness project has been the extraordinary effectiveness of my Eighth Commandment: Identify the problem.
As strange as it sounds, I’ve learned that often I’ll suffer an unhappy situation without asking myself what the true problem is, or taking any real steps to try to solve it. Instead, I suffer a vague sense of discomfort, without being prompted into action.
My solution to this? To press myself to identify the problem. It’s a lot easier to solve a problem once I know what it is.
For example, I love coming home to Kansas City. We have a million things to do while we’re here, always the same list: Worlds of Fun, Winstead’s, Arthur Bryant’s, Rainy Day Books, Kaleidoscope, Topsy’s, etc. But often I need to do a little work, too (like post to my blog). My work as a writer has changed. I used to write on my laptop, on my own schedule, with no one to report to for two or three years at a stretch. Now I feel a more constant need to report for duty. I love my new tasks (blog, Twitter, Facebook, monthly newsletter, etc.), but they demand a different rhythm of work.
For the past few years, when in Kansas City, I found myself feeling anxious and uncomfortable about this need to work.
For this visit, I took the crucial step. While on the plane, I asked myself, “What’s the problem?” It turns out that the problem isn’t that I can’t manage to take a break from family togetherness or that it ruins my fun to do a little work amid a vacation. (In fact, I’ve found, a little work can make vacation more fun.)
When I thought about it, I realized the problem was that in my parents’ place, there’s no desk. They have a lot of beautiful furniture, but nothing desklike. They keep their own laptop on a shelf in the kitchen, and when they need to use it, they put it on the kitchen table. Right in the middle of the action. The constant distractions and interruptions kept me on edge. Even when no one was wandering through the kitchen, it felt as though someone would pop in at any minute. It’s hard for me to concentrate in these circumstances.
Having identified the problem, I took a second crucial step. About an hour after the girls and I arrived in Kansas City, I mentioned to my mother, “You know what would make the guest room a lot more user-friendly? A desk.” I didn’t want to seem critical or fault-finding, but it was true that a desk would make a big difference.
My mother said, “Well, I haven’t seen a desk that would be right for that room, but I need a card table anyway, so I’ll go ahead and get it so you can use it.” Within six hours of my comment, my mother had picked up a card table at Target (the platonic ideal of a card table, exactly how you picture it and for $29), and now I’m typing on it, tucked away in a quiet corner.
Identify the problem! Why is this so hard? It’s a bit counterintuitive that thinking about a source of unhappiness can actually be a happiness booster. It seems more likely that I’d do better to put up with a vague sense of uneasiness rather than shine a spotlight on it. And probably in some situations, that is better. But so often, I’ve found “identifying the problem” shows a possible way to solve it.
Now if I could only get my wireless mouse to connect.
* Did I mention that my book is available for pre-order? Yes, I’m pretty sure I did. But here I go again! Order early and often.
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"There is no gift of nature, or effect of art, however beneficial to mankind, which, either by casual deviations, or foolish perversions, is not sometimes mischievous. Whatever may be the cause of happiness, may be made, likewise, the cause of misery. The medicine, which, rightly applied, has power to cure, has, when rashness or ignorance prescribes it, the same power to destroy."-–Samuel Johnson
* Follow me on Twitter. If you haven't tried Twitter yet, give it a go. I love it.
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I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too. Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in—no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.
We all make mistakes and have things go wrong, but one resolution I try very hard to keep is “Learn from the past.”
Many of my most significant happiness-boosting actions—large and small—have come in reaction to things that went wrong.
To take a small example: It was only after thinking hard about why I was so often crabby during lovely family vacations that I recognized the problem: I was hungry. Once I understood what had gone wrong on previous trips, I was able to come up with a solution: Now I make sure to pack almonds and other snacks whenever I travel.
To take a large example: In college, I didn’t participate in any extracurriculars—no sports, no newspaper, no drama, no singing group, no soup kitchen, no sorority. I didn’t think much about it during college, but during the two years between college and law school, with more perspective, I came to regret that I hadn’t been more involved. I vowed that in law school, I would take part in more extracurricular activities, and I did. Of these, the most significant was the Yale Law Journal, where I ended up being editor in chief—which ranks as one of the most important experiences of my whole life.
To take a medium example: I stopped drinking, more or less, because after stopping drinking during my pregnancies, I became such a lightweight that just one glass of wine had a big effect on me—and not a good effect. Alcohol made me sharp-tongued, indiscreet, insensitive, belligerent, and sleepy. The day after a social occasion, I often felt terrible about how I'd acted. To address this, I need to start drinking more, to build up my tolerance, or less. For me, giving up alcohol most of the time—I still have the occasional glass of something—makes me happier.
It’s hard to learn from the past, because that process means that I have to look long and hard at things in my life that didn’t go right—where I failed or was disappointed or didn’t rise to the occasion or felt regret, guilt, or anger. And reliving that past is no fun.
It's also difficult to do. One way I "learn from the past" is to apply my Eighth Commandment, Identify the problem. What did I wish had been different about that family trip? About college? About that party the other night? When I really look carefully to identify an exact problem—not just a vague feeling of dissatisfaction—I often see a solution.
Whenever I do “learn from the past,” I find it very satisfying. Not only do I manage some aspect of my life more happily, but I also have the exhilarating sense of having corrected something, of having redeemed myself—yes, I'll say it, of turning lemons into lemonade.
Has there been an occasion when learning from the past allowed you to do something more happily in the present?
* One of my new favorite blogs is the wonderfully thought-provoking Starfish Envy, started by my sister's writing partner. "I'm thirty-seven. I'm successful. I'm single. Now what?" And as fascinating as it is, it's superfascinating to see a friend's blog. It gives you a whole different insight into a person's mind and life.
* Join the discussion over on the Facebook Page. Check it out!
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I was very interested to read John Cloud’s recent Time cover story about exercise and weight loss, "Why Exercise Won’t Make You Thin." This is a very complicated issue, and the article’s argument has sparked many debates—but from strictly a happiness perspective, two points jumped out at me.
First: Even if exercise doesn’t help me lose weight (and I admit, I’m very weight-preoccupied), it’s still extremely important for general good health and for not gaining weight—and for keeping my mood positive. For example, one study showed that even moderate aerobic exercise boosted mood—for as long as 12 hours. Almost everyone I know who exercises regularly says that they stick to their routine for mental benefits as much, or more, than for physical reasons.
Second: I should always be wary of occasions when I have the urge to “treat” myself. So often, treats don’t contribute to long-term happiness.
From the article, and from my own observation, it seems that exercise often inspires people with the belief that they deserve a “treat”—and usually a high-calorie treat. For example, I was just reading Sally Koslow’s novel, Little Pink Slips. The main character goes running with her best friend, and afterward, they split a scone. But as Cloud suggests, from a strictly calorie perspective, those two women would have been better off skipping the run and the scone.
It’s also easy to fall into the assumption that because exercise is healthy, anything related to it must be healthy—this tendency is called the halo effect. A friend of mine would chug a big bottle of Nantucket Nectars after working out. He considered this a healthy, energy-boosting drink so never thought about calories at all. I pointed out that a bottle has almost as many calories as a Snickers bar! (My gleeful revelation of this fact did not endear me to him, I must confess.)
For a long time, I’ve been keeping an eye out for studies of how people’s worrying about their weight affects their happiness. To me, this concern seem like a major factor in day-to-day unhappiness. I’ve never seen much on this issue, and if anyone has read any studies about this, I’d love to see the reference.
* I couldn't resist a blog called Happiness in this World: Reflections of a Buddhist Physician, of course, and I was particularly intrigued by this post about The Good Guy Contract.
* Interested in starting your own happiness project? If you’d like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just e-mail me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. (Sorry about writing it in that roundabout way; I’m trying to thwart spammers.) Just write “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.
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Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: My family vacation reminded me of these 5 tips for happiness.
I just returned from a wonderful family vacation. Beautiful weather, mostly cheerful children, and no major mishaps (no travel disasters, bicycle crashes, poison ivy, etc.).
Taking a vacation reminded me of several things about happiness—the first, remember to take a vacation! Especially given mobile technology these days, it’s tempting to have a change of scenery and call it a vacation. But a vacation really means taking a break from work.
I was reminded of several other happiness principles, as well:
1. Fun is important to happiness. Is there such a thing as "fun for the whole family"? I think so, but I've learned that on vacation I need to make sure I make time for the things that I find fun—which in my case means reading. Sometimes I think, “Why am I just lying here, reading, on such a beautiful day? I should be going for a run/playing in the ocean/learning to play tennis.” But it's a Secret of Adulthood: Just because something is fun for someone else doesn’t mean it’s fun for me. I love to read, and now I let myself read as much as I can get away with, given the realities of a family vacation. After all, I still do plenty of other things. And speaking of that Secret of Adulthood, the converse is true ...
2. Just because something isn’t fun for me doesn’t mean that someone else won't find it fun. For instance, grocery shopping. It finally dawned on me that my husband loves to make a quick trip to the grocery store. I kept trying to make lists and be efficient and ask if he really had to make another trip to the store, until I realized: He loves to bike over to the grocery store for a few items. One day he went four times. That’s FUN for him.
3. Sleep is important to happiness. The more I learn about sleep, the more convinced I become of that fact. Sleep keeps people feeling cheerier, it strengthens the immune system, it may even play a role in keeping weight off. According to one study, a bad night’s sleep was one of the top two factors that upset people’s daily moods (along with tight work deadlines). Another study suggested that getting one extra hour of sleep each night would do more for your daily happiness than getting a $60,000 raise.
Accordingly, over the last few years, I’ve made a big effort to get more sleep—but during this vacation, there were several nights when I got 10 hours of sleep. Yes, I went to sleep at 9:30 p.m. and slept until 7:30 a.m., which I just wouldn’t have thought possible. This suggests to me that I may still not be getting enough sleep in my usual routine.
4. One irksome task can make vacation more fun. Some interesting studies suggest that interrupting a pleasant experience with something less pleasant can intensify a person’s overall pleasure. For example, commercials make TV-watching more fun.
For the last 10 months, I’d been procrastinating about ordering a photo album from Shutterfly with our family pictures, and the task had really started to weigh on my mind. For this vacation, I decided to take a break from all work, except to do that photo album. This plan worked beautifully. Not doing my usual work make me relaxed, and having one irksome chore gave me the delicious feeling of goofing off—except when I actually did make myself do it. And I did get that task crossed off my list, which was enormously satisfying.
5. Everyone’s happiness project is different. (This is related to Tips 1 and 2.) I met a very nice guy who described to me how he’d fulfilled his lifelong dream of buying a farm, where he’s raising some organic crops as well as pigs, cows, and I believe, goats. He was beaming with delight as he described how much he loved every aspect of it. I can think of few things that would make me feel more miserable than having a farm like his. Happiness projects just don’t look the same.
On a less elevated note, I would add that if you’re traveling with children, it never hurts to pack a few items of novelty candy for a long car ride. That, and a Harry Potter audiobook, will take you a long way.
* This article on Slate, Seeking: How the Brain Hard-Wires Us to Love Google, Twitter, and Texting, and Why That’s Dangerous, is absolutely fascinating. I think it has all sorts of happiness implications, but I haven’t quite figured out what they are yet.
* Because I've been on vacation, it's been at least a few days since I mentioned that the book The Happiness Project is coming out in a few months. Order early and often. (But seriously: If you're inclined to buy it, pre-orders really give a boost to a book. The early show of enthusiasm makes a big difference, so I really appreciate it.)
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I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too. Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in—no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.
The biggest challenge of a happiness project isn’t figuring out what resolutions I should make but actually sticking to my resolutions.
Somewhat to my surprise, I've found that I have quite a lot of trouble keeping my resolutions related to play—that is, the activities I do in my free time, because I want to do them, for their own sake, for my own reasons, and not for money or ambition. To encourage myself to play more, I’ve made resolutions to be serious about play, take time to be silly, force myself to wander.
Believe me, I see the irony in the fact that I work doggedly at fun and am so serious about joking around, but given my nature, I have to measure what I want to manage, and if I don’t commit to having fun, it will get crowded out of my workaholic days. Even so, these resolutions remain a challenge for me.
Writer Jean Stafford scoffed, “Happy people don’t need to have fun,” but in fact, studies show that the absence of feeling bad isn’t enough to make you feel good—you must strive to find sources of feeling good. Regularly having fun is a key factor in having a happy life; people who have fun are 20 times more likely to feel happy.
Starting today, for the next week, I’m going to keep another play-related resolution: Take a vacation. I haven’t stepped away from my blog very many times since I started it more than three years ago, but it’s time for a break.
I've started to feel overtapped—the feeling captured perfectly in Tolkien's The Fellowship of the Ring, when Bilbo says to Gandalf, "I feel all thin, sort of stretched, if you know what I mean: like butter that has been scraped over too much bread. That can't be right. I need a change, or something."
It's time for more butter, some fun—which, for me, means as much reading in bed as I can get away with, given that my two children have a different notion of fun.
Now I’m off to pack for the beach. I'll be back soon.
* This little video really made me want to learn CGI! Maybe that can be my "novelty and challenge" task for Happiness Project II.
* I send out short monthly newsletters that highlight the best of the previous month’s posts to about 26,000 subscribers. If you’d like to sign up, click here or e-mail me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. (sorry about that weird format—trying to to thwart spammers.) Just write “newsletter” in the subject line. It’s free.
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Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: 23 phrases to help you fight right.
Almost all couples fight; the secret is to fight right. I’ve posted about what not to say during a fight. Here are some phrases that actually help.
I review this list from time to time so that when I’m arguing with my husband, I remember the phrases that help me fight right. Recently, for instance, I was angry at him for showing, I thought, a lack of respect for my priorities. So I waited until a good moment (this itself is tough for me) and said, “I need you to listen. This is important to me.” From his startled expression, he clearly thought I was starting a fight; but by warning him that I needed him to respond carefully, we managed to avoid a fight altogether.
When my husband and I do argue, I find that the single best technique to apply is humor. If one of us can laugh and joke around, the angry mood lifts instantly. But during an argument, my sense of humor is the first thing to go.
Failing that strategy, here are 23 phrases that help turn down the heat of anger:
Please try to understand my point of view.
Wait, can I take that back?
You don’t have to solve this—it helps me just to talk to you.
This is important to me. Please listen.
I overreacted.
I see you’re in a tough position.
I can see my part in this.
I hadn’t thought of it that way before.
I could be wrong.
Let’s agree to disagree on that.
This isn’t just your problem; it’s our problem.
I’m feeling unappreciated. [Always, my craving for gold stars!]
We’re getting off the subject.
You’ve convinced me.
Let’s take a break for a few minutes. [If you can remember to do this, it’s extremely effective—especially if you’re having a big fight. After a break, it’s almost impossible to go back to yelling.]
Please keep talking to me.
I realize it's not your fault.
That came out all wrong.
I see how I contributed to the problem.
What are we really fighting about?
How can I make things better?
I’m sorry.
I love you.
I actually get tears in my eyes when I read this list. Such is the uplifting power of fighting right.
Also, to fight right, it’s very important to respond well if your sweetheart makes a repair attempt—the technical term for a gesture of reconciliation and love. Don’t rebuff a repair attempt!
What other strategies or phrases have helped you fight right?
* A thoughtful reader sent me the link to an excellent blog Half Full, about "the science of raising happy kids."
* If you like the blog, you'll love the book! It's not just a collection of touched-up blog posts, I promise. Pre-order The Happiness Project now!
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I've started a new feature—the True Rules series. These aren't general rules for living, like "Enjoy the present." They're more concrete lessons that come out of people's specific experiences.
Traditions boost happiness. Every August, my college roommate comes out from California with her family to spend several weeks in New Jersey with her in-laws. At some point while she’s on the East Coast, according to our tradition, she takes the train into Manhattan, and we spend most of the day going for a long walk. (One of the nicest things about New York City is that when you walk even a mile, you feel like you’ve really traveled far; each neighborhood is so different from the others.)
We see each other only one day each year, but we cover a lot of ground on that day. Highlights of this year’s walk include her stopping to read choice bits from Coleridge’s letters, a trip to a bookstore, and our discovery that we’re both raving fans of Twilight—we spent a long time trying to plumb the mystery of its strange power.
Along the way, I asked for a True Rule, and she had a good one:
If you can’t watch the video: “One of my True Rules—and I’ve used it with my kids a lot, and it has held true—is to try something eight times before you give up in a snit.”
Eight times is a good number. Your child begs to try something, then wants to quit right away—eight piano lessons, eight attempts on rollerblades, eight ballet classes is enough to permit a real judgment. I'm going to try that on my children—and on myself.
* Benjamin Franklin is one of the patron saints of people doing happiness projects; in fact, he inspired the design of my Resolution Charts. So I was thrilled to see this homage to him by Maira Kalman on her great blog, And the Pursuit of Happiness.
* Speaking of Resolutions Charts, if you'd like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just e-mail me at grubin, then the “at” sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. (Sorry about writing it in that roundabout way; I’m trying to thwart spammers.) Just write “Resolutions Chart” in the subject line.
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My happiness project has convinced me of the tremendous value of reminders that help prompt happy memories.
Studies show that recalling happy times helps boost happiness in the present. Also, when people reminisce, they focus on positive memories, with the result that recalling the past amplifies the positive and minimizes the negative. However, because people remember events better when they fit with their present mood, while happy people remember happy events better, depressed people remember sad events better—which makes them feel worse.
Many of my happiness-project resolutions help me preserve my happy memories: "Be a treasure house of happy memories," Take time for projects, and Keep a one-sentence journal.
Judging from the response on my blog and from the number of people using this Tool on the Happiness Project Toolbox, this last resolution—to Keep a one-sentence journal—has resonated with lots of people.
My idea for the one-sentence journal was simple: like many people, I had the urge to keep a journal, but I gave it up because it took so much effort. By resolving to write just one daily sentence, I could stick to it. Writing one sentence is enough to be satisfying—yet also manageable.
My one-sentence journal is just a general journal, but I’ve heard from people who keep journals about a child’s first year, about starting a new business, about fighting cancer, about observations of nature.
This week, I came up with another way to record important memories. I bought a blank, lined notebook with a blue bird on the cover (because blue birds are a symbol of happiness and my happiness project). On the top of each page, I put a calendar date without a year: January 1, January 2, etc.
From now on, whenever anything significant happens on a particular day, I’ll write it on that date with the year. So, to make up an example:
August 3
2009 – first night in my new apartment in a new city, San Diego
2011 – bought my dog Sandy
2012 – finally finished the tree house
This notebook will fill in very slowly, but after a decade or so, I’ll be able to look back on any particular day and remember the most significant events from my past – a quick, succinct way of keeping track of my personal highlights. Life seems so intense as it unfolds, but it’s easy to forget even the most important things, as time passes. The days are long, but the years are short, and memories fade quickly.
I just filled in the dates in the notebook and haven’t even made an entry yet. But I’m excited to have started it.
Have you found any good strategies for keeping happy memories vivid?
* I love checking out Marginal Revolution. I never know what I'm going to end up reading about, but it's always interesting. And Tyler Cowen just wrote a new book: Create Your Own Economy. I can’t wait to get my hands on it.
* Speaking of the fact that the days are long, but the years are short, if you haven't seen my little one-minute movie, The Years Are Short, you might enjoy it.
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“In solitude I used to wander about the garden, alternately collecting birds’ eggs and meditating on the flight of time. If I may judge by my own recollections, the important and formative impressions of childhood rise to consciousness only in fugitive moments in the midst of childish occupations, and are never mentioned to adults. I think periods of browsing during which no occupation is imposed from without are important in youth because they give time for the formation of these apparently fugitive but really vital impressions.”
--Bertrand Russell, Autobiography
Although I wouldn't express this idea quite the way Bertrand Russell does, it is a good explanation for why I don't make my daughters take piano lessons.
* A kind reader sent me the link to the blog 1000 Awesome Things. Excellent.
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